rate_review Reviews

I have one word for you...MORE!!! I loved it and i don't usually like f/f fics. but this one was awesome. Hitomi has an underlying bad girl that only comes out in th bedroom and she's hot for Merel. I love how until the seond chapter in the bedroom everyone assumes Hitomi is bi then she says differently. That sorta contradicts the anime alittle with Hitomi likeing Amanop, Allen, and Van but other than that i loved it.

This was an unexpected jem, but i liked reading it! Unusual pairing, but so sexy and well writen1

Yay, the world needs more Hitomi/Merle! I think Hitomi would seem more in character if you worked on her dialogue.

Yep, they are _very_ OOC, but you knew that from the beginning. There are several things that i appreciate in this fic: one of them is that you manage to spell correctly, do not think that grammar is a place in eastern Europe and keep your comments to the beginning and the end of the chapters. Just to ensure you know it is appreciated. Another one (that you might be more interested in) is that you manage to make up decent dialoges - since i occasionally write a bit myself, i know that often is not easy. You manage to keep up a good flow; i personally would perhaps use a little bit longer descriptions, but that is rather a question of personal preference. Apart from being OOC you manage to construct reasonable characters - they lack in depth yet, but that is unavoidable with the length of the story so far.
All in all i would say: good work.

oh damn you should add more

update soon

this is a good story you have to write anther chapter

I really don\'t like fem slash, but I do like Allen/Van pairings! I was wondering if you could possibly do a Van and Allen story that had mpreg in it cause I think they are a really cute couple! But I hope you update soon and maybe you could put a lemon in between Van and Allen later on in the story!!! Update soon!!!

kool so when r u going to finsh it

i like this fic very much

plz update =)))