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April 23, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I like this so far! Don\'t see many fics with Shun on top (well...you know what I mean *LOL*) Nor do I recall at the moment ever seeing a Shun/Shaka. Keep up the good work!
schedule
April 22, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Hm well I have to say that the very negative description of Saori right at the beginning turned me off ... is it really necessary to bash the females just because it\'s a yaoi fic?
And if it wasn\'t your intention to present Saori so unflatteringly, then you might want to consider re-working those few opening paragraphs. Perhaps skip right to Shun and Hyouga\'s interaction, and just have Shun summarize what Saori said to him. The opening of a story really ought to try to set the mood and theme ... even if it is a PWP (grin).
I realize that other readers probably won\'t have this reaction, but I did think perhaps you wouldn\'t mind honesty or a constructive suggestion.
And if it wasn\'t your intention to present Saori so unflatteringly, then you might want to consider re-working those few opening paragraphs. Perhaps skip right to Shun and Hyouga\'s interaction, and just have Shun summarize what Saori said to him. The opening of a story really ought to try to set the mood and theme ... even if it is a PWP (grin).
I realize that other readers probably won\'t have this reaction, but I did think perhaps you wouldn\'t mind honesty or a constructive suggestion.
schedule
April 22, 2004 at 12:00 AM
A great s...S...Shaka and Shun...I was actually hoping somebody would write one with those two. Can\'t wait to see the rest!
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April 21, 2004 at 12:00 AM
hey great start i can\'t wait for the next chappie this sounds interseting ^_^ i havn\'t read any Shun?Shaka fics before and but this one looks very good ^_^ update soon
ja ne
ja ne
schedule
April 21, 2004 at 12:00 AM
*Squeal!* How FUN! Great story!!
It is an unexpected combo, but I\'m all up for it! Post soon!!
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It is an unexpected combo, but I\'m all up for it! Post soon!!
~~~~ =) ~~~~