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by YoukaiFate

person sap
schedule September 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I liked this. My thoughts on this... He said "woman" entirely too much, lol. It was cute a few times, but if you intend to give a character a trademark expression, etc. try to have one of the other characters notice or at least mention it in passing third person. Doubtless any character -see, reader- would not miss that and besides, your audience must know it's an *intentional* repeat, right? ;) Careful with any kind of repetition, for that matter. I noticed that a few times. It can be a useful device or it can lose your readers. Sexy growls, for example, are...well, sexy, but after a few times it sounds regurgitated. Try new diction where it's appropriate and possible. (I know, there's only so much you can do with a wolf, lol.) There were a few tangents in the story that I thought could have been edited out, parts of conversation or parts of her day, lol.

I know that sounds like a long laundry list, but really, you've got great style. I loved the way you portrayed Tsume, and you did wonderfully infusing that wolf with personality and yet keeping him realistic, raw, and *animal*. Love it! I've read a few of your other stories and I hope to see more of those as well! Keep it up! :)
schedule July 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow...you are SO amazing. ^_^ lol Love your work -- glad to see you've updated it to completion! I'm kind of slow at reading things, so I'll be finished in a day or two. =-P But Marie might be pregnant? And all this conspiracy stuff can't be good -- you're SO good at capturing the spookiness of the campus -- I actually felt a little wary, myself! lol And btw, you might want to allow anonymous reviews so you'll get more. ;0)
schedule July 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Very nice. I wish you hadnt killed her off so you could keep the story going but I guess it had to be done. Do you think you will do another Wolf's Rain story? Yours is my favorite one around, maybe you could do another one. *puppy dog eyes*
person Rider
schedule January 6, 2007 at 12:00 AM
UPDATE! please....
person Rider
schedule December 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
when are you going to update?? :(
person Rider
schedule December 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really feel it is time to read another chapter so let's get to work and update! :)
person Honey-Senpai
schedule December 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
love the part that were deleted on fanfiction and put up here
^_^
person Rider
schedule November 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
hope you're gonna update sooner this time ;) Can't wait to read more! :)
person Clausi
schedule November 16, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow, wow, WOW! What a WONDERFUL story! Please continue soon [please!
person Rider
schedule November 15, 2006 at 12:00 AM
God I'm glad you updated, I thought you never would... can't wait to see another chapter! great job!! ;)

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