rate_review Reviews

Now while Ami is intelgent USagi is dumb but she's not that dumb and that's not quite how an Aferdisac works but that's alright. But the main thing I'm not getting is, we KNOW Usagi marry's Mamaru so that means she can't be with this kid for too long. Just a point out. As if she did Rennie wouldn't have ever been able to come back. I still think you should have used one of the other girls, it would have worked better. Serena is just way to much in love with Darein. She wouldn't leave him just cause she was horny and she certainly wouldn't have done all that just to 'get better' I'm sure she's been sick before and didn't have to do all these things.

update

Well, that could have gone better, for Usagi, I mean. Okay, Ami has become Shingo and, to an arguably lesser degree, Kenji's slave, Usagi is well on her way to being Tenka's, and Makoto is basically the neighbor's, though it hasn't been said whether or not he's actually full on done her, unless I'm remembering wrong... Kinda makes me wonder if the others - Rei, Minako, Setsuna, Haruka, Michiru - are gonna wind up as targets/victims, too. Rei and Minako and I can sort of see falling, Setsuna not much due to being so much older than the others, and, frankly, smarter, and Haruka and Michiur I don't really see falling at all, being lesbians who happen to be firmly devoted to one another and all. Though that does leave Hotaru unaccounted for, though, being the same age as these boys, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't find her interesting enough for them, or simply too easy a mark. Well, next chapter whenever. Laters.

Cool fic.
But it's the second time Shingo forget to give to Ami the 5 spanks required for the night...

Well interseting story though not very relistic, though I suppose it's not suppose to be. I think Serina's taking it to far though as she's obsessed with Derain and would never leave him for an 11 year old not even if Ami sudjested it. I also think if Sammy's dad did Ami in the ass with no lube it'd tear her up, a lot!

I can't wait until the next chapter! I just love where you're going with this story. :) Hope you update soon.

Oh! I love this atory, please update as soon as you can. You stopped for a while after chapter four and I was afraid it was going to be one of those really really really good stories that got abadoned and were never ever finished. I was sooo happy when you added two more chapters out of the blue, and I love where the story is going ^ ^ I cant' wait to see what's going to happen next so please please please don't update! ^ ^ Keep up the wonderful work, you're a really talented writer ^ ^

I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?

Wow, I must say this is definately an excellent read when in the mood for something straight to the point. A few minor technical errors, but the general plotline is wonderfully orchestrated. I can see the problems with making the intelligent Ami into the subserviant family whore, but you are doing an excellent job of it. Using Ami's own guilt against her is perfect for blinding her to what's really going on. I can honestly say, though, that I didn't expect the whole Usagi getting sick and her father driving her back and then getting to manipulate Ami bit, but there it was. And that last scene with Ami losing her anal virginity had goosebumps run up my spine on her rational. Nicely done. I also wonder if Ami's dream is actually going to pan out now that daddy's been thrown in the mix?

Um, again, about the technical errors, you mentioned when she went down on Shingo that it was her first time, meanwhile in the beginnning of that very chapter you had her brushing her teeth to get the taste of the neighbor's cum from her mouth. Even reverting back to her having done fellatio on the photographer at the end of that same chapter where she was confessing to the bathtub scene being her first time. Oh, and secondly, the story started out with Shingo being 11 to Ami's 15. In the past two chapters, he's suddenly become 10. I was wondering if this was because of his two friends who you had written in as being 10. Either way, it's just a little inconsistency I though you might like to fix.

Keep up the fabulous work.

Peace

Please Please Please i am begging you to finish!! This is so sick it's wonderful and i would love to see the rest!