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for Unforseen love

by negi246

person ChaosLacky
schedule November 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
The story is going along okay although it could use some plot other then the two getting together. Also there are some spelling and punctualtion errors, such as \"now\" instead of \"know\".

But it is a good story hope you continue.
person DevilDude
schedule August 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Very cool but it feels unfinished (duh) please get the next chapter up i\'m anxious to see it!
person Michael Schwandt
schedule August 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey man i loved your story keep it up oh and in the next ch have Misty walk in the Pokemon center and see Ash and Joy when Joy is about to bring herself on Ashes cock but instead of gettin mad she want\'s to join then u can do the rest
person ruben flores
schedule August 5, 2005 at 12:00 AM
make it so that may or misty see him having sex later and the only way for her not to tell on him is for him to have sex with her
person DarkMastero
schedule May 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
For a fist fic it\'s good. Though when you stat dialog you should start on a new line to make it easier to read. The story also feels kind of rushed and the plot is dry and straightforward. And you rated it NC-17 so maybe their should be a sex scene or something worthy of that rating?

But anyway, good luck with future stories!
person TripleDelight
schedule May 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
sorry, not logged in. anyway, not bad for a first time. some advice though, make it longer and details. like elaborate on the hotel room or the environment in the park.
person a
schedule December 19, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Please update i have been waiting.
person DJ Rodriguez
schedule October 23, 2004 at 12:00 AM
This fanfic is actually pretty good! You just can't find good Ash/Nurse Joy fanfics out there, nowadays. Think you can make a sequel, or another fanfic that pairs these two up? If so, go for it!

Nice work! Keep it up!
person mark anthony
schedule September 29, 2004 at 12:00 AM
great story please contine

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