rate_review Reviews

I liked it, but you should og over it and check your spelling.

I liked this story. I was real good. Still a bit short but good. I thouhgt it was really sweet. You are getting better at writing. Looking foward to read other of your works.

I have two comments:

1) Go back and proofread what you've written. There are several typos that take away from the story.

2) DO NOT use Japanese unless you know what you're doing. "Kirai" does NOT mean beatiful, it means HATE. Utsukushii is beautiful. "Watashi wa baka desu" doesn't mean "I am so stupid" It mean "I am an idiot." (I know that sounds picky, but people who know Japanese will recognize translation mistakes like that and it's distracting.) La, I , I laughed during your sex scene because "Onegaishiru" can be translated as either "please know" or "please soup." I think the phrase you were searching for was "onegaishimasu."

interesting...u write very professionally...good job...^^

Very good, although it was short, it was very good. Keep up the good work.

Very sweet ^_^ Although one typo had me in fits of laughter: \"...breath came out in pissed and pants...\" Now I hope you meant that his breath came out is pants and hisses, LOL.

Hey, PetuniaY! Remember me? The Ultimate S+S Candidate? ;) I love your lemons, including this one! Keep up the good work!! :D

Neat. ^^. Good story, nicely described, nice mood. Mmm, thing to work on would be the verbs, the tenses are awkward sometimes, try sticking to the same tense in one sentence. Rest all nice.

sweet fluffyness. a few parts didn\'t scan that well tho, and in a few spots I think wrong words were used. clean it ubit bit and it\'ll be wonderful.

You have a lot of hits for this story, but the reviewing method on this site is ever-so complicated. What a sweet story. Keep on writing!