rate_review Reviews

Hey! I acly dly do like your fic. I think it has nice plots and i'm a fan of master and slave stuff. Call me weird.. but that is just the way I am. But there is one problem.. I noticed that there are some grammatical errors and I think you would need to correct them or re read them before posting. get a beta if necessary. The flow of the story is fast... in other words, it quite hard to understand... but don't misunderstand me.. I still love it. I think you need to work on the vocabulary as well. Writing a lemon isn't that easy. I would say it's quite hard because you need to capture the person's feelings as close as possible. And personally, I think experience counts in writing lemons too! try to look at other lemons or romance novels... and you might get some ideas from there...

I'm only saying what I've felt. if you're offended, I'm so sorry.. just delete this and throw it in the trash. I'll be looking at your updates... as I'm quite curious as well. Look forward to the master and slave stuff....

that was very good, i loved it and can not wait until u write the 3rd chapter. i so what to know what the three will do to each other
subzero13

i luv the story and hope u get back to writing. It seems to me though that the characters are way to serious. i can understand yuki but shuichi abryuichi should be a little more happy go lucky. other than that i have just have one thing to say:
I NEED MORE STORY MUST HAVE MORE VERY SOON OR I WILL GO INSANE..........please thanx

Stop with the Author's Notes and KEEP WRITING *cracks whip of yaoi* *___*; Some of us need more yaoi so please keep going! *grins like a huge chibi*

AHHHHH stop teasing with those author's notes!!! Just kidding! I really like this story so far, its is progressing nicely. I like how a lot of what is going on is in their heads, internal dialogue and such. I really liked how Shuichi repeated Ryuichi's words verbatim. Keep up the great writing, and I look foward to the next chapter.

I've already reviewed this story, this is more for the don't fuck with me (guy?). I must admit that you can give really good advice, but, you don't always have to be so hostile about it. I kinda feel bad for saying what I did before but I know Eroticgoddess so it kind of made me mad. I do have one question though. If you hate this story so much, why did you come back to look at the reviews agian? And you'd have to, to see what me and Vampluver wrote. Just curious.


P.S. Sorry Eroticgoddess for using your review sheet as a coversation piece.

P.S.S. For the record, I am not 12, I am not in league with Vampluver, and Im not glad to know your weekend was disappionting. Just thought you'd want to know.(XOXO to all)

Personally, I don't think I flamed you. Let those two little children moan at me, I really don't care. And "NightGoddess" I am nor intimidated by "Vampluver" and I find her (its?) lack of vocabulary pretty amusing. And if you so wish to read my self-proclaimed shit, then check out the link I left. I left it for a reason, you stupid little 12 year old pre-teens; are you even old enough to be reading slash? Besides, I believe my comment was for the author, not you two. And "Vampluver" just because it's "fanfiction" as you screamed at me, that doesn't allow it to lack a plot, grammar and everything else that makes a story a real one.

I still believe it's terribly OOC; the Gravitation cast would never act like that. Jesus, is that such a hard concept to grasp? I've read Shu/Ryu ones- all with believable plots and whatnot. And it isn't that hard to get Yuki IC - you just need to fill your chapters. They're just so lacking - like a deflated balloon. And how the hell could Shuichi sprout off, word-for-word what Ryuichi said to him? In that particular area, Shu could have just summarised what he said, you know, to make it sound more believable? You could be a decent writer if you wasn't just aiming at porn - because while everyonves ves it because it's hot, it's the plot that counts. You have no story, you have no point.

Hell, even PWP's actually have some sort of plot!

And either you were being sarcastic or perhaps ignorant by wishing me a good weekend, I’m sure that "Vampluver" and "NightGoddess" - the two person fan club they seemed to have set up - will be happy to know, that my weekend was as disappointing as ever.

You know I’m going to be here next chapter, and I’ll review it too. Why am I bothering? I never review good story, just the bad ones. You figure out why.

Ja.

This is the first Gravi fic I've ever read, and I must say I will forever love these fanfictions because of it. If all the Gravi fics I read are this good I'll be the happiest little yaoi fangirl! Keep up the work and please update soon!

please more:) !!!

Please update... I want a threesome, this is gonna be good.. pwease pwease yes?