schedule
October 17, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Your fanfiction is unreadable. I can't read your fanfiction. it is cheberish abd it has los of useless text. Get rid of the use less text and your fic will be readable.
schedule
October 23, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Good, good stuff. Just a little bad thing, why bother with Hikari and all that, just do Kari and TK. But great writing, you should write more if this really is just your first fic.
schedule
October 20, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Very well done, although gramer needs to be looked at here and there, but overall very nicely done