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July 21, 2003 at 12:00 AM
This is what I call a diamond in the rough. It is a good story, but needs a beta-reader badly. The poor spelling and grammar makes it hard to read. It makes you sound like you are 10 years old and English is your second language (is it?). By the way, isn\'t Jim a little young to be having sex? How old is he, 12? You should never do a fic with a character that is a minor and pair him with an adult - even if the adult IS an alien. It can be construed as child-porn and that is illegal.
This ot aot a flame, by the way, it is constructive criticism and a warning.
This ot aot a flame, by the way, it is constructive criticism and a warning.
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July 9, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Wow! I really loved this story, dispite the spelling errors. There\'s so much detail. At least it wasn\'t plotless sex. It was great!
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June 10, 2003 at 12:00 AM
I likes the Aisha/Jim pairings. Especially since those fanfiction.net nazis took down the lemons. good story
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May 6, 2003 at 12:00 AM
THIS IS A COOL STORY.I read it once before, on the fanfiction net, before the NAZI\'s who run ffn started thei Hitlerite censorship.
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April 30, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Cool story. I missed the lemons and limes after the Fanfiction.net took down all the smut.