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July 14, 2004 at 12:00 AM
My god, continue this story! Please! I have Yami no Matsuei and I always did er aer about the relationship between the two brothers. Brilliant! I love your twists and turns. Please update soon!
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July 7, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Awesome. You really must continue this!
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June 21, 2003 at 12:00 AM
More,more,more!It\'s beautifully written.Simply....a great story so far.Plz tell me there\'ll be more!
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June 16, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Very interesting and well-written as well. I hope that you do continue. ^_^
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June 1, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Hmmmm not bad.
But you got some odd HTML tags in there you may wanna fix and that whole first and last name mix up is a bit off putting...
Oh, and you may want to refer to their father as san rather than sama. I don\'t think he deserves quite that much ect.ect.
Otherwise, not too shabby. ^^
But you got some odd HTML tags in there you may wanna fix and that whole first and last name mix up is a bit off putting...
Oh, and you may want to refer to their father as san rather than sama. I don\'t think he deserves quite that much ect.ect.
Otherwise, not too shabby. ^^
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May 26, 2003 at 12:00 AM
This is much better written than your first. I think it might become very good. One mistake though that seems repeating: Muraki is the SURname, not the first. Kazutaka is the first name, and mixing those just makes me awkward and distracts from the story. Please correct that and continue!