rate_review Reviews

Please don't post ANYTHING thats NOT .hack related in here. I'm sure there is a section for this someplace else. So id appreciate if you moved this.

...I don't want to discourage you from writing, but maybe you should learn how to better structure your writing. Paragraphs and knowing when to use them helps. Also, try reading some actual novels to get the right idea of how to present your work.

Now, your chapters... They were too short and did not properly communicate what you were trying to describe. I could not sit through it, despite its length.

You also failed to write a proper disclaimer. It is found tactless and sloppy when you put a disclaimer for a specific story in your profile.

While the story as of right now, is crude, I do suggest creating a plotline (point-by-point if you have to). It helps the story run more smoothly and gives it more of a professional feel when it is finished.

Editing is key. I admit I never used to do edit much back when I first started out, but getting a beta reader is a necessity. I found that, when writing, my work seemed fine, but when coming back to it a week later, I found it was complete and utter s***. So, as soon as you can, get a beta reader. They can be very helpful.

Okay, I know this was long and painful, but hang in there. Don't stop writing, but take your time. Don't rush the creative juices, but write like mad when they do come.

Good luck in future pieces.


Adieu,
Arasoi

plz continue

good job. plz dont stop

ok story but make it longer