rate_review Reviews

HOLLY HANNAH! oh lordee that was good **looks behind for the boss** oh please write more of those i enjoyed it and Rysh (who read it on her break) enjoyed it (only one of us can log in for reviews as we share writing duities)
Affie and Rysha

It was very good for your first fic. There are some things that can be worked on that just take practice, for the most part. You don\'t have a problem with punctuation, but the sentences are choppy at times. And detail, my dear! Detail is the key to every one-shot you will ever write. Elaborate on smells, touches, little sounds, etc. as you explain what is going on, and leave a little out for the reader\'s imagination to work. As I said before, your writing is promising, so keep at it, and if you ever need a beta reader or other tips, just jot me a line.

Fangirl # 1: Yay! It was a very good lemon itself1 It was short, sweet and to the point! I have been forced to read a single sex scene over 9,000 words. *glares at fangirl #2* It was romantic, and i suggest that other\'s also read it!

Fangirl #2: Yeaaah... <_<... I won\'t tell if you won\'t... Anyways, I\'ve read a fair share of lemons (a bit of an understatement) and I actually think this fanfic was one of the best. I liked the mental images... I\'m such a perv ^_^

This has the makings of a really good fic. I\'d love to see a bit more depth to the characters, but since this is a one-shot, I suppose depth is...well...an afterthought. Otherwise, it was quite well-done. The only bit of advice I can give you, if you\'re thinking of continuing to write (and I HOPE you are) is that you need to show the reader what\'s happening instead of telling them. You tend to just come out and say things. Instead of outright SAYING that Wolfwood had been fantasizing about Vash, you could show it by having Wolfwood stare at Vash longingly or by looking away quickly every time he caught Vash\'s eye. (Those are really cliche, but effective.) Just keep an eye on the details, m\'dear!

WOW!!! /claps/ This story was really good!! Good....No great!! GREAT I SAY!! I LOVE IT!! ^-^ Please write another one!! Please!!! You did a great job in writing this. /still claping/ LOVE YOU!!
Later*-*

Well all be d@mned. You did it. And before me, too! Curses! Of, well. I\'ll just have to make it a point to out-do you. Again. ^-^
Good job, my most favorite minion.

Luv & Peace

(p.s. So you\'ll do the Tsume X Toboe fic i asked for, right? *shameless begging with a cherry on it*

For a first-time fic, you did an okay job. The premise was a bit weak, however, you get bonus points for refraining from using unfortunate vocabulary like \'raging manroot\' or \'magic stick.\' Considering that this was a one-shot, I suppose you can be forgiven for rushing into things; however, I feel that if you extended this a little more, developed a bit more of a basis for their getting together, this could become a very good fic indeed. You have the makings of a good writer, so keep up the good work!