rate_review Reviews

Wow. That Shinji/Hikari bit was pretty angsty, but I liked the Misato/Shinji bit. I generally like to hope that there\'s a little bit more than just lust in Misato/Shinji pairings, and since she wasn\'t drunk... What can I say, it had an angsty air to it, but it was still kinda WAFFy, which I like. Good job,

Shinji seems more or less in character. I can even see serious, responsible Hikari trying to keep the secret, though it\'s hard to imagine her being attracted to Shinji--she likes big dumb jocks.

I like the Shinji x Misato pairing, but not the way you\'ve written it up. It\'s difficult to imagine what might motivate Misato--she likes ponytailed prettyboys who try to act like James Bond, not sad teenage boys. I think it\'s possible to write a plausible relationship between them--maybe based on her own insecurities, or maybe starting out with her trying to comfort him with sex during the war--but this ain\'t it.

Your dialogue and prose need some work. I think this has potential but it\'s going to need a lot more effort than this.

You just HAD to make him week didn\'t you?!?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Gods I ahte a weak shinji.

Chapter 2 was really good. I hope you keep going with this.

Hahahaha.... Now let me think, at this point if Shinji catches Hikari with Tougi things are gonna get messy really quickly. A thing like that hapening can really change a man... unfortunetly, I\'d know. How, depeneds on the person really. In shingi\'s case I\'d think he\'d change into a vicious fighter who takes no shit... a fucks alot of girls... ya that\'s about right. He\'s level out only if he got a girl to ground him, thus one that actualy shows that she loves him. Unfortunetly I can say this ALL from experiance. Ah well it\'d get more interesting.

Ian

Maybe a bit out of character for Hikari, but not bad at all, especially for a one-shot.

Pretty good chapter and leaves many possibilities for a continuation, which I hope there will be.

Hmmm, well I\'m not a fan at all of Shinji x Hikari, so I\'ll just wait till Shinji gets paired up with Auska (Auska x Shinji is my favorite couple^^).

Update soon! Bye-Bye!

I liked it. Sure, Hikair is OOC, but it\'s an interesting idea and you should run with it.

Hiya. ^^ The story overall wasn\'t bad. Only Hikari was a little OOC. The other characters were rather IC, actually. ^^ That twas good. The plot was intersting, and good, the only reason I didn\'t care to much was because I don\'t like many M/F couples. (I like some, but not too many...) But it was still good! Don\'t be discouraged. ^^ Write more and stuffs.