rate_review Reviews

Hey, I\'m reading! But I must confess that I don\'t know what to think about the story. It still confuse me. I have some ideas (like they whant Kenshin and the girl to have a baby) but I don\'t know... And I don\'t see how Kenshin will sove this after. I think Kaoru would suffer but she would understand the situation in the end, but I think Kenshin would feel obligate to marry the girl or take care of her, and this would destroy Kaoru. And I still don\'t get the reasons way they didn\'t take Kaoru... O.O

I\'ll wait for the next update to see more answers. Keep going because I\'m very curious here!!!

Big hugs from Brazil!

Lere

This fiction definatly has potential. I can see where you are going throughout the chapters and where you want to go, but there is one major thing you need in the story to make it clearer and easier to read.

Transition, Transitions, Transitions.

There are various points in your story where things don\'t seem to flow. Take for example the beginning of chapter 3. You start off with Kenshin begging forgiveness from Miyori, and her still raw and terrified from him raping her. However, two sentences later you have her angry at the people who put the dart in Kenshin. If you had placed another paragraph in between the two, perhaps explaining why Miyori suddenly understands and starts to forgive Ken, then everything would come out much smoother to the reader.

One more thing, when a new person is talking, you need to start a new paragraph. It\'s not punctually correct to have a paragraph with more then one perosn speaking. (This applies to thoughts too)

I like your plot idea. It\'s very creative and I can\'t say I\'ve seen anything much like it.
Keep up with it, I\'d like to see where you go with this.

Ja,
Sephiress

OK. I\'m trying to keep an open mind. This fic is different from others. The situation is very...odd. But the curiosity is overhelming. I just want to know what all this is about. Will Kenshin fall in love with the girl just because they have someo kind of forced sex? What about the feelings he heve for Kaoru? You showed this in the first chapter when he was thinking about her.

How kaoru will reacte after learning about what happened? Will Kenshin take the girl as a wife because the honor thing???? I heve many questions and it\'s what keep me reading. Please, be a good author and keep going with the story, ok?

Hugs from Brazil,
Lere.

Hey,
Nice update. can\'t really understand whats going on with the dart thing. But it very origional and I think this story has a lot of room to develope. Thus far, its been very interesting and I can\'t wait for you to get more up. I shall be checking again shortly after Christmas! Lookin\' good girl! ^_^

WOW, this is amazing! You should check out my fanfictions and let me know what you think. Personally I think you have a wonderful way og portraying this. I would love to have some of your imput on my fanfics. WOW I don\'t know if I can wait untill the 30th! LOL wow...