schedule
January 21, 2005 at 12:00 AM
First Rurouni Kenshin fic I have ever read...and it was well-worth the two hours it took me to get through it! Characterization was amazing, dialect was amazing, LEMON WAS AMAZING! I am probably one of the most picky readers on the entire planet. Literally...if I don\'t like the summary or see mistakes in the title, I skip on to the next selection.
Your potential is enormous, never let anyone tell you otherwise. As for any of the errors the \"Lady\" below pointed out, they are commonplace that anyone can make (not to mention there were several mistakes in her spelling and grammar as well ;) Flame-haters unite! Hmm...perhaps I should correct her review as she so cruelly did to your story...) Anyway, I myself am a native English writer - yet it took me until HIGH SCHOOL to finally grasp that \"its\" is possessive and \"it\'s\" means \"it is!\" My closest friend is a second-language speaker like yourself, but the imagination and diction that she uses in composing her stories never fail to make mine pale in comparison. For some reason, however, I have noted that non-unilingual authors seem to be more critical of themselves than natural-taught writers. Perhaps this is simply American/British arrogance coming into play, but I think that whenever you down-size your abilities you scrape just one more notch off in how far you can go with your talents. Believe in yourself, you will be an amazing writer one day, of that I can already be certain!
As for the samurai piece, it is perfectly logical to assume that Kenshin may very well be one (even if it is untrue, something I am uncertain of because I have only just recently begun delving into the manga and anime). The time and place of Kenshin\'s story aligns with the period of the samurai in Japan (as one can see in the movie, The Last Samurai, where the warriors still existed - while sparsely - in the countryside until even after America\'s Civil War). Therefore, it is not nearly a big deal that you titled him as such since almost NOBODY really cares! Pick up any heartily-published historical romance novel and you will be able to pick out countless inconsistencies or errors about the period; making such mistakes is our duty as human beings!
All in all, I absolutely loved your fic. There are few such stories than can actually capture my attention and affection well enough to make me want to leave a comment (especially since I have offered fewer than 10 reviews in the 3 years I have been involved in fanfiction). If a Beta reader is what you decide you need, if only to rid yourself of nuisances such as those of the reviewer afore-mentioned, please don\'t hesitate to email me! I would be honored to get a sneak-peek into that head of yours for your next work! Cheer up and don some flame-repellent, jealous critics always abound! *nods*
Your potential is enormous, never let anyone tell you otherwise. As for any of the errors the \"Lady\" below pointed out, they are commonplace that anyone can make (not to mention there were several mistakes in her spelling and grammar as well ;) Flame-haters unite! Hmm...perhaps I should correct her review as she so cruelly did to your story...) Anyway, I myself am a native English writer - yet it took me until HIGH SCHOOL to finally grasp that \"its\" is possessive and \"it\'s\" means \"it is!\" My closest friend is a second-language speaker like yourself, but the imagination and diction that she uses in composing her stories never fail to make mine pale in comparison. For some reason, however, I have noted that non-unilingual authors seem to be more critical of themselves than natural-taught writers. Perhaps this is simply American/British arrogance coming into play, but I think that whenever you down-size your abilities you scrape just one more notch off in how far you can go with your talents. Believe in yourself, you will be an amazing writer one day, of that I can already be certain!
As for the samurai piece, it is perfectly logical to assume that Kenshin may very well be one (even if it is untrue, something I am uncertain of because I have only just recently begun delving into the manga and anime). The time and place of Kenshin\'s story aligns with the period of the samurai in Japan (as one can see in the movie, The Last Samurai, where the warriors still existed - while sparsely - in the countryside until even after America\'s Civil War). Therefore, it is not nearly a big deal that you titled him as such since almost NOBODY really cares! Pick up any heartily-published historical romance novel and you will be able to pick out countless inconsistencies or errors about the period; making such mistakes is our duty as human beings!
All in all, I absolutely loved your fic. There are few such stories than can actually capture my attention and affection well enough to make me want to leave a comment (especially since I have offered fewer than 10 reviews in the 3 years I have been involved in fanfiction). If a Beta reader is what you decide you need, if only to rid yourself of nuisances such as those of the reviewer afore-mentioned, please don\'t hesitate to email me! I would be honored to get a sneak-peek into that head of yours for your next work! Cheer up and don some flame-repellent, jealous critics always abound! *nods*
schedule
January 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really like your stories! English is my only language and I could never write as well as you do even if I tried really hard. Don\'t listen to any bad reviews- they do not know what they are talking about . I look forward to reading more...
schedule
January 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Brilliant...
I can do nothing but bow and applaude.
I can do nothing but bow and applaude.
schedule
January 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Good lemon. Your language and descriptions are pretty good, and don\'t worry too much about crazy reviewers who only know how to complain. I understand what you mean when you get mad at people who are native speakers of \"x\" language and start criticizing you when actually, it seems that they\'re worse than you are. Just ignore them, my dear, they\'re not worthy of your breath or words.
Now, on the other hand, as for improving your writing, I - myself - am not an English native speaker; however, I found some tiny mistakes throughout the story... I think they\'re typos more than anything. Nonetheless, so you\'re aware, sometimes genders and pronouns are confused. Eg: her instead of he, his instead of her, etc. As I said, I think they\'re just typos. Also, I think the right way to spell \"lack\" is as shown, and not \"lake.\" The latter would be lake, as for Superior Lake. ^^
Be happy and forget crazy people, and sometimes I include myself in this group. Take care.
Now, on the other hand, as for improving your writing, I - myself - am not an English native speaker; however, I found some tiny mistakes throughout the story... I think they\'re typos more than anything. Nonetheless, so you\'re aware, sometimes genders and pronouns are confused. Eg: her instead of he, his instead of her, etc. As I said, I think they\'re just typos. Also, I think the right way to spell \"lack\" is as shown, and not \"lake.\" The latter would be lake, as for Superior Lake. ^^
Be happy and forget crazy people, and sometimes I include myself in this group. Take care.
schedule
January 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Aloha!
READ THESE SENTENCES VERY CAREFULLY!!
This is meant to help you become a better writer. Even though you are not a native english speaker it is a poor excuse. Esspecially when you can write and comprehend on this level. I noticed just from reading your Authors notes that you DO have quite a wide understanding of the English language. I know you said that you don\'t have that great an understanding of the English language but I think you degrade you self by saying that. I believe that you are a very smart person. In my opinion you have a very good grasp of grammar. Don\'t say you don\'t know grammar! If you want to learn more proper grammar there are internet dictionaries and plenty of online grammar books. You are capable of so much more!! Don\'t stop now when you are so close to achieving what many native speaking Americans will never have. The ability to write. Not only the ability to write but to write good stories that reach on an intelectual level!!
\"To avoid Criticism, Say Nothing. Do Nothing. Be Nothing.\"- A great quote but I can\'t remember who wrote it o_O? It was probably philosopher who\'s first language was not english.
I do understand that you are human and humans make mistakes. I understand that writing a fanfiction can be tedious work but, have you considered looking for a beta reader? A Beta reader is some one who will read your story and help you edit out alot of mistakes? Mistakes such as the ones I have listed for you...
She uttered a strangled cry, surprised by the pleasure he was giving her and she felt the red head chortle, conveying a tender smile to her face. Kaoru lashed languorous attention at his left hear, her hands wondering freely over his bare back, circling around his waist and taking hold of the piece of white linen that kept his hakama in place
Look up the word langourous in the dictionary http://www.M-W.com
They slid over her counters? , following the soft curves, gripping her flesh here and there as if the man was trying to gain some sort of support.
His fingers touched her core, toke? her by surprise and made her cry.
It did brought more of the tingling to spread from her pelvis to delude in her blood, drugging her mind with blissful sensations.
It, however, stretched her muscles in an odd way, not unpleasant but not comfortable either, but to reach the pike of the wonderful experience, she was willing to feel sore the morning after.
Suddenly, his hand grip her elbows and pushed both of her arms away from him, his hands gliding over her skin to twin? with her own, almost pinning them above her head, his hold too gentle though to be overpowering and she felt she could free herself at will.
He drank her surprised yelp, the sound making her chest tremors and he stood stile , opening his deep violet eyes to discover stunned indigo orbs staring at him.
“K… Kaoru…” He and touched her cheek gently to gain her complete attention.
Feeling the climax becoming was torture, a craved torture, a sweet one, only a step away from that instant when love became physical and not just spiritual.
I also have an issue with how you called Kenshin a Samurai. Kenshin is not, was not, and never could have been a samurai. Kenshin was a Swordsmen, obviously, but he was an assasin for a rebel group of people we know to be the Inshinshishi, their ranks were mainly composed of farmers. The Samurai were a class of people. You could easily say that calling Kenshin a Samurai is an insult to his cause. Afterall if he was born into a Samurai family do you think he would have taken up arms agains the Shogunate?
I sincerely hope that you do not find this review to be the least bit insulting as it was NOT meant to be. You are a wonderful writer! Don\'t give up and learn all that you can! It\'s better to learn the correct way to do things than to flounder in error. When all else fails read the directions. Keep writting!!
~De Lazy Lady Lime
READ THESE SENTENCES VERY CAREFULLY!!
This is meant to help you become a better writer. Even though you are not a native english speaker it is a poor excuse. Esspecially when you can write and comprehend on this level. I noticed just from reading your Authors notes that you DO have quite a wide understanding of the English language. I know you said that you don\'t have that great an understanding of the English language but I think you degrade you self by saying that. I believe that you are a very smart person. In my opinion you have a very good grasp of grammar. Don\'t say you don\'t know grammar! If you want to learn more proper grammar there are internet dictionaries and plenty of online grammar books. You are capable of so much more!! Don\'t stop now when you are so close to achieving what many native speaking Americans will never have. The ability to write. Not only the ability to write but to write good stories that reach on an intelectual level!!
\"To avoid Criticism, Say Nothing. Do Nothing. Be Nothing.\"- A great quote but I can\'t remember who wrote it o_O? It was probably philosopher who\'s first language was not english.
I do understand that you are human and humans make mistakes. I understand that writing a fanfiction can be tedious work but, have you considered looking for a beta reader? A Beta reader is some one who will read your story and help you edit out alot of mistakes? Mistakes such as the ones I have listed for you...
She uttered a strangled cry, surprised by the pleasure he was giving her and she felt the red head chortle, conveying a tender smile to her face. Kaoru lashed languorous attention at his left hear, her hands wondering freely over his bare back, circling around his waist and taking hold of the piece of white linen that kept his hakama in place
Look up the word langourous in the dictionary http://www.M-W.com
They slid over her counters? , following the soft curves, gripping her flesh here and there as if the man was trying to gain some sort of support.
His fingers touched her core, toke? her by surprise and made her cry.
It did brought more of the tingling to spread from her pelvis to delude in her blood, drugging her mind with blissful sensations.
It, however, stretched her muscles in an odd way, not unpleasant but not comfortable either, but to reach the pike of the wonderful experience, she was willing to feel sore the morning after.
Suddenly, his hand grip her elbows and pushed both of her arms away from him, his hands gliding over her skin to twin? with her own, almost pinning them above her head, his hold too gentle though to be overpowering and she felt she could free herself at will.
He drank her surprised yelp, the sound making her chest tremors and he stood stile , opening his deep violet eyes to discover stunned indigo orbs staring at him.
“K… Kaoru…” He and touched her cheek gently to gain her complete attention.
Feeling the climax becoming was torture, a craved torture, a sweet one, only a step away from that instant when love became physical and not just spiritual.
I also have an issue with how you called Kenshin a Samurai. Kenshin is not, was not, and never could have been a samurai. Kenshin was a Swordsmen, obviously, but he was an assasin for a rebel group of people we know to be the Inshinshishi, their ranks were mainly composed of farmers. The Samurai were a class of people. You could easily say that calling Kenshin a Samurai is an insult to his cause. Afterall if he was born into a Samurai family do you think he would have taken up arms agains the Shogunate?
I sincerely hope that you do not find this review to be the least bit insulting as it was NOT meant to be. You are a wonderful writer! Don\'t give up and learn all that you can! It\'s better to learn the correct way to do things than to flounder in error. When all else fails read the directions. Keep writting!!
~De Lazy Lady Lime
schedule
January 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
ughh.. don\'t you hate that? i swear, some people are such sniveling self-righteous cowards. i bet they left themselves anonymous in the flame they sent you, right? i feel for you, i also hate it. people like that should say it to your face.
anyways, loved the fic. was sexy, was sweet, and was wayyy worth my time ^__^.
anyways, loved the fic. was sexy, was sweet, and was wayyy worth my time ^__^.
schedule
January 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Awesome story. The plot of the fic more than made up for any errors I may have noticed.
schedule
January 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
AMEN sister! ^_^ as fic writer I know how difficult it is at begining and even more when you\'re not a native speaker (must confess I once recieve so many flames I even decided to burn y fics... don\'t regreted but I can still read those awful words T_T) . Anywho, on to the story, what can I say, I really liked it, love the lyrism in it that and I\'m a big KxK fan, I don\'t think you were to ooc, so keep up with the good work and the late hours writing because although one receive bad reviews there are so fans out there who will appreciate our work. Anubis
schedule
January 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
good fic
schedule
January 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
What a beautiful lemon! I love it! It\'s like the old times when we could find many wonderful authors and incredible stories. These days there are few who are capable of doing a fine job about RK lemons. I loved the dialogs. Tasteful and very romantic. The characters weren\'t OOC. I could see Watsuki\'s Kenshin and Kaoru perfectly!
Please, I would like to read more of your great texts... soon!
Big hugs from Brazil!
Lere
Please, I would like to read more of your great texts... soon!
Big hugs from Brazil!
Lere