rate_review Reviews

I like this story. There is a lot of plot mistakes in the third chapter, things that you couldn't know with watching only half of the story. The other reviewers already told you who Omi's real father is, I wanted to add that there is a reason why Persia's face is always in the shadow on the tapes - he would never come to the Koneko, since he is a head of the police, the mambers of Weiss would learn his real name promptly. Anyway, stuff like this usually doesn't bother me, just wanted to let you know. It would be nice to read the next chapter. I took a trip to your site and it seems that you're pretty busy though.

I want to read more! T_T I want to read what happens next so hopefully you guys update.

HI I love your story. It is nice to see someone doing this kind of story. To show how the team hopefully rallies behind Omi after everything he learns about his past. Although I my favorite pairing is Omi/Aya I totally think that Omi/Ken can work just as well. I really hope that you update soon. This has the potential to be a great read.

yes your theory is wrong in fact ouka is actualy omis cousin and suichi takatory (persia) is infact omis father, its very complicated to explane i know you can find it on the web somewear i did , but its you story and if your theory works for your story stick with it btw update soon

hey, I really like where you\'re going with this. it\'s definitely cute. But...not to ruin the mood or anything, there are a few things you need to get straight, since I\'ve seen the whole series, both ova\'s and Gluhen.

spoilers:
Omi\'s real name is Mamoru Takatori.
In the series, Omi and Persia never meet until near the very end, as Persia\'s dying.
Persia is actually Omi\'s father, though Omi\'s never told this, and Persia doesn\'t even know until his brother (Reiji) tells him. That\'s the whole reason why Reiji didn\'t pay the ransom for Omi when he was kidnapped.
So technically, Omi and Oka were cousins.

I don\'t want to be a nag or anything, but it does kinda bother me when people have their facts wrong, so I just thought I\'d help out. Keep up the great work on this story though. I\'m really looking forward to the next chapter!

ROTFLMAO I love Omi\'s reaction to Yoji ...\"huh?\" LMAO ...go Omi!

\"Why won\'t these fuckers just DIE already!?\" Go Yoji! You know I loved that line!
LMFAO - We go zoom they go boom?

See, I can\'t really tell you where you can improve cause I BETA\'d this thing, so you already improved/changed where I suggested ...so basically, my reviews are just me laughing at you, XD.

\"Omi ...please tell me that is one of your darts?\" ROTFLMAO ...and the response ...\"Ken, please tell me that is the knot in your shirt ...\"

Victory dances? Damn right we are!

OMI FAPS!! FAP-FAP-FAP!! FAP-FAP-FAP-FAPFAPFAPFAP!!! F-SPLURT! ...*Click* *Bang* *Dead* ...Get back here you little embodiment of hate! Aww he likes you! ...Be gay with me now ...WHAT!? ...I am primed and ready for gayness ...And he takes after me! All your base are belong to Bakura! Stop pleasuring yourself to my defilment! Who wasn\'t watching my tomb!? Whoopsie ... Hey guys what\'s-HOLYSHITTHATISTHEMOTHEROFALLWANGS! ... These are crazy biznatches ...I agree, we\'re transfering to Harvard. Yami listens to Michael Jackson ... ... ... ...what? ...You are an unclean man!

\"K\'so\" the ONLY swear word in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles first movie!!

IMAGINARY KEN! Imaginary Ken kicks ass! Omi REALLY likes imaginary Ken!!
I wonder if Ken has an imaginary Omi? *wicked grin*

w00t NinjaMouse! He\'ll get over it once he realizes he can get laid ...BOOYA! ...and I\'m getting ketchup all over my KEYBOARD! Damn having the need to eat! Yes I know I haven\'t eatten in two days ...but ...but ...FAPING!

\"Of course I heard him!\"
*Omi dies*
*Aya\'s brain implodes*

I\'ve been VIOLATED! Allow me to attack him with my KETCHUP FINGERS!

Somewhat squeaked still bothers me, but I knew what you meant and couldn\'t think of a better way to put it.

I love Ken and Yoji ...dumb and dumber XD

You have bad luck with doors, you really shouldn\'t do something near one when there is the possiblility that someone can come through it.

I love the emotion and relationship between Ken and Omi and I am really excited for further development!!
Continue! Ja!!
~Dragonblade and Kurai

awesome!!! >/////< this is one of my first reviews in english ever!
i originally speak spanish, so as u could understand, my english sucks!
god... i\'m trying my very best to write u this!! u really worth it!
well... i love your fic!!!! *___* i love Omi so much that i\'m reading fanfiction of him in other lenguages xDD
UPDATE SOON PLEASSE!! i\'ll be waiting!
that solo scene was sugoi!! *-*
so... was it so bad?? <.< hope not
ja ne!!

1) Her name is Ouka 2) Whole- complete== Hole- \"A holw in the bucket. Other then that, your story was good. Will you be writing more?

Wonderful chapter. Can\'t wait for the next one.

you got me hooked. so what will happen next?? I wonder?? Anyway, nice job!