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for Dakishimete Itai

by yasha1215

person LaNoinaa
schedule May 22, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Grammar errors aside, this was really good!
schedule July 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Time for the hunt! Lol! That was hot! Can't believe this is your first lemon! Although i have to complain about the grammtical errors. But it's still good... Keep it up!
person Niichan the Baka
schedule December 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Oi, sorry this is Anon, don't have an account. Anyhoo, Love the Battousai, he's a great guy. And K/K is the best pairing in the series, in my opinion. Your story's nice, but you may want to look into getting a beta, or editing your story a bit better. Besides some grammer mistakes you also tended to switch tenses. It is wise to remain in one tense (preferably past tense since it is nearly imposible to write in present tense and do it well). Anyway, that's all, just work on your editing.
person kim
schedule August 1, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i loved it!
person Makoto
schedule February 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Not Bad! Everyone loves K+K. ^_^
person K-Pilot
schedule February 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Good story - nice lemon, good descriptions and it flows smoothly between scenes.

Constructive Criticism - proofread or get a Beta. If English isn\'t your first language make sure the Beta is: a) a person who first language is English or b) speaks/reads/writes English extremely well.
person De Lazy Lady Lime
schedule January 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hi!

Yumm lemony goodness!! There were a few errors here and there but, over all a good lemon and a good read! Write more!!

~De Lazy Lady Lime

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