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for Being Loved

by NinElise

person SanoUno
schedule October 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like it. You should edit it though: spaces, some mistakes like here
'too look at the small pink rose bud, purring he then it a few times' - I quess you lost 'licked'
Oh, and you shouldn't write 'coz' instead of 'because', especially when it's not a dialogue.
person Sakora
schedule February 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!...^^ more please?
person SMS
schedule February 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
cute idea, it does seem like a good time for Omi to tell Ken he loves him. I\'m not a huge Omi/Ken shipper but I do think the go well together. Watch your tenses and things like \"to\" instead of \"too\". Paragraghs would also make it much easier to read, I got a headache reading line after line with no spaces. And definately work on the interaction of the characters. If you put quotes in for a conversation, a new paragraph needs to come after the end of the quote. good idea though, keep working :)

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