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December 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
mistys a slut and i think shes mean. not enough lemon dude
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December 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
okay... well, it's pretty good, but there are a few things wrong, first, Misty couldn't overpower Ash. I'm not being Sexist, I'm just saying, seeing as Ash has broken metal on several occasions(Mewtwo Strikes Back, and the Baby Lugia Saga, to name a few.) I highly doubt Misty could overpower Ash, and also, you really might consider... ahh... adding more detail.
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November 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
actually it was pretty good, in a strange crazy way
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November 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hmm, I think I might do my own \"Misty is evil\" fic in the future.
Anyway, as for the story: it\'s good in parts, and well described in parts, but in others--mainly near the end--it feels as if things were rushed to much and could be rewritten. A few things, mainly: Brock\'s death and anything after that point, really; the part with Ash\'s rape; some of the scenes where Misty punishes Ash could be more detailed, such as his feelings, etc. Speaking of that, Misty easily beating up Ash and overpowering him is pretty realistic considering her tomboyish nature--but, as mentioned, it\'d sound better if it had more detail and background in it.
Anyway, as for the story: it\'s good in parts, and well described in parts, but in others--mainly near the end--it feels as if things were rushed to much and could be rewritten. A few things, mainly: Brock\'s death and anything after that point, really; the part with Ash\'s rape; some of the scenes where Misty punishes Ash could be more detailed, such as his feelings, etc. Speaking of that, Misty easily beating up Ash and overpowering him is pretty realistic considering her tomboyish nature--but, as mentioned, it\'d sound better if it had more detail and background in it.
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November 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
all i can say is........wtf??
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November 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Your story is interesting to say the least but I do wish more insight was provided for the actions the characters took. While it does work sometimes, Misty\'s crime of passion just seems so out of place that it takes away from the story instead of give back to it. However, the prime reason for this review was to pose another question. What exactly did you edit? I noticed this story a few pages back when I was randomly reading reviews. Did you just want to keep your story on the front page?
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November 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow!! This is a great, yet disturbing story. Great work.
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November 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
No need to be sorry. I was just curious.
Also, the person above is right when it comes to flaming. The people here rather help people with there writing instead of make fun of them and what not. Don\'t worry about being flame when you are doing what you want to do.
Also, the person above is right when it comes to flaming. The people here rather help people with there writing instead of make fun of them and what not. Don\'t worry about being flame when you are doing what you want to do.
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November 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
\"gonna get flamed\"... people here don\'t flame you.... this isn\'t Fanfiction.net my friend, we don\'t have very many \"pairing terrorists\" here... just lots of horney people.
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November 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Holy shit man... that\'s scary, and yet, it\'s well written.