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for Evening With A Friend

by seraskelia

person butabara
schedule February 15, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Your stories-all of them-are really, really good. The issue that I have-and its a big one-it the sentence structure. And paragraphs...there only seems to be one...

I'm not trying to be difficult, or mean in any way, please please don't take this as mean!

My advice to you would be to work on your paragraphs and where they need to end and start, and maybe leave a space between each paragraph. It certainly would make these wonderful stories a lot easier to read!

Again I really like these and I hope I'm not coming across as a jerk. Hope to see more, and if you ever want any advice or anything like that, feel free to contact me. My email is on my profile.

Thanks!

Gwilwileth
person Alucard
schedule May 31, 2005 at 12:00 AM
God, I don\'t know how it let me, but it let me on this site...this story was good..
person Mrs.Jan Valentine
schedule April 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I was right!He IS a dirty old man!:[ *maiacal laughter*

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