rate_review Reviews

hehe... poor Ryuma had to hide in Kanami\'s room to get away from the sounds of his \'fathers\' doing it... this was a great chapter.... i\'d say update soon but i won\'t be able to get on the internet for the next 2 days.... so update again by the time i get back.... since you seem to be updating every day (or close to it) i guess when i get back i may get 2 chaps to read.... though i\'d be just as happy with one.... i need to go before i start talking jibberish.... i\'m on another sleep deprived caffine high

apparently my sleep deprived state had me reviewing before readding your little author not to me.... i only caught it because i decided to read the chapter again... you\'re right sometimes that chip in the brain thing does get, but for your story it works.... also i\'d give advice but your story moves so quickly you don\'t really need it.... besides i can\'t make sence of all the jumbled thoughts in my head.... my friends won\'t let me tell them my ideas for stories because i change my mind about it every ten seconds, then i try and explain the new idea, but the new idea is based off an idea that i haven\'t told them yet so i try and explain... ugh, it\'s all just one giant loop of never ending insanity... now if you were stuck in the story and hadn\'t updated in a week... then i might try and send you advice, though it would be more like a bunch of thoughts jumbled together.... you\'d have to be desperate to try and sort through the insanity of my thoughts and ideas..... if i wasn\'t on a caffine high this review would only be 2 sentences long.... and one thing no one want\'s is advice/thoughts/ideas that i\'ve written down while sleep deprived and caffine high.... and i must go before i pass out on the keybored

yeee.... you updated... and a lot sooner than i expected.... 2 updates in 1 day.... i don\'t think i\'ve seen that before... i liked Ramsey so far... i was thinkin that HOLY may have put some sort of trigger in Ryuma... and now it seems i may be corect.... oh i just love this story..... please update soon

LOL! My advice for your writing is to just take it slow, think about how a real person would react is the situation you wish to put them in. I\'ve only written a few things myself (non posted here) and have been tempted to make a similar mistake. People just can\'t read other people. If we actually could, couples would never fight and men would understand women. *snickers* Not to mention, going over your own work. It\'s really hard to put your writing aside for an hour or two, completely clear your mind, reread your stuff and think, \"Will someone else read this the way I want them to.\" Most of the time, the answer is no because YOU know what you\'re thinking, we don\'t. Do you have a beta? Unfortunately, using a beta would slow down your updates, but it could help with your errors.

BTW: I rarely if ever write critical reviews. If I\'m honest with myself, I usually write sickeningly sweet reviews to help the author write faster. ^_~ I only add my two cents if I\'m impressed with the writing. Honestly though, you have definite potential as a writer and if I can help just by pointing out a few mistakes, I will. I remember that once I got used to having my wrongs pointed out, and after I got over the embarrassment, I was really grateful because my stories did actually sound better, even to me. (And believe me, my stories were totally butchered with pen corrections! XD)

Still love the story and look forward to your next update.

~Yasei

Oh, here were the two spelling mistakes I caught: Paragraph 5, sentence 6: \"aura\" (a distinctive but intangible quality that seems to surround a person or thing) instead of \"aurora\" (a luminous atmospheric phenomenon appearing as streamers or bands of light sometimes visible in the night sky). And paragraph 5, sentence 7: \"contentment\" instead of \"content.\" LOL! I remember this one author who used to use oar (a wooden boat paddle) instead of aura. XD She never picked up on her mistake until something like chapter 7! I don’t\' want that to happen to you. So, there\'s my two cents... Sorry if it\'s a bit much, I tend to get carried away. Until next time!

that was great.... and it makes sense that Ryuma would be getting their memories.... and thanks for the thanks..... when i get praised for a review it makes me want to review more..... Ryuho and Kazuma sure would make good parents.... so in closing... i loved it please update soon

^_^ You have no idea how absolutely wonderful it is to see someone writing s-CRY-ed fanfiction. It\'s so rare as it is, even KazRyu. AND you update often!!! *massive glomp* Ryuma is a really sweet character and I\'m looking forward to seeing how long it will take Ryuhou and Kazuma to figure out that he\'s their kid. ^_~ Should be interesting. BTW The idea from Kazuma to sleep together was too cute.

The only error in chapter four that you might want to be aware of is that Ryuma never made mention of Kimishima out loud, but both Ryuhou and Kazuma knew exactly who he was refering to and that it was a memory from Kazuma. Oh, and if you are still worrying about spelling, don\'t. You at least use your words correctly and your readers understand the story perfectly. Your a good writer, you should be very proud of that.

Thank you SO much for being a prompt updater! I can\'t wait to read more of your chapters/work. ^_^

~Yasei

Another great chapter.... i liked how you described his alter... very nice..... i think you may have misspelled a word or two.... either that or i\'m reading for words at one time again (i hate when i do that)... not that it really matters to me i rarely ever notice misspellings... and since i automatically correct them in my head they no longer bother me.... so in closing.... great chapter please update soon

I love your story so far.... there aren\'t many S-cry-ed fics out there so you sure as hell better not leave this story unfinished.... I\'ll be waiting patiently for the next chapter and i promiss to try and review everychapter... i\'d give you more detailed thoughts on the story but i\'m not good at going into details.... that\'s why i don\'t post any of my stories.... that and i none of my stories have beginnings.... just middles and ends.... by the way this was a great begining to your story...... my failure with beginnings has made me very appreciative of good beginnings when i find them.... cause thats important, a good beginning.... if the beginning is good the reader cant help but continue reading..... I\'ve left alot of stories unread cause of bad beginnings..... just so you know i don\'t always review like this.... the only reason i do so now is cause it\'s the middle of the night and i\'m on a caffine high.... so when my reviews turn into nothing more than \"I loved it please update soon\" don\'t think i\'ve lost interest in the story... i only say that when i\'m not sure what it is i want to say.... well i must go before i sprout off my life history to you..... man this was one long review

HEY HEY HEY!It\'s not fair ta leave a girl hangin\'!I thouhgt it was a good fic!I wanna know where it leads to though!Keep goin!