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for The Angel and the Demon

by Karinka145

person Reiky
schedule June 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
It\'s good, I am interested and I would like you to update :)

Only It\'s Yuki Eiri, because in Japan second name comes first. And I didn\'t understand what actually Aizava and Ma-kun did to Shu in 3rd chapter - did they just beat him or something more. And I would suggest you divide pharagraphs when you write - leave some space between them to make them easier to read. But no harm meant - you are doing good!
person Midnight
schedule June 19, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hmm... Not a bad idea... But I suggest you get a beta... And it\'s spelled Eiri Just so you know~ ^____^

I\'d really like to see more soon!

~Midnight

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