rate_review Reviews

This story is great, please update soon!

I thought you did fine. So it starts with Ryo with Rose and Dee with JJ will this coupling change? I'm just asking because Rose seems pretty hard on Ryo. Poor guy. I almost want them to break up so he can find somebody else because part of the time Rose seems disappointed in Ryo's actions. Not that they are the wisest at all times but I feel like he could do better you know?

JJ and Dee seem a lot happier at least. But you can tell that they are both concerned about Ryo which I think is sweet.

Who is the girl? Is it Daina or does it matter? Thought I'd ask those two always seemed like an okay couple in fanfiction too.

Galacia

Please keep writing, Please, this a great story so far.

Argh. My fingers are itching to get around Berk-heads neck.

DIE BERKY!!!

...I like it. Very much. :D

Just started reading the fiction and I want to tell you I love it! The premise is very original and contains my favourite thing in the world : Ryo/Berkeley. I love the way you write their relationship - I personally never pictured Berkeley being that nasty, but damn. I like it! Darn you, for making abuse seem - applealing (or is it only me that thinks that?) It makes for some nice angst, doesn\'t it? I think I like Moreofanassholethanusual!Bekeley and Abused!Ryo a little too much - It was great when Berkeley answered the phone \'out of breath\' (*coughcough, I wonder what he was doing, coughcough*) and when he hit Ryo at the end (I know, I\'m a terrible person, but... I\'m biased to Berkeley ._. He can do just about anything and I\'ll love it). Aw, what will the poor little baby Ryo do with mean ol\' Commissioner Rose? I can\'t wait to see ^^

Thank you for writing this, keep up the super work, and here\'s to hoping more nasty degrading from Berkeley comes along! =D

I like your approach on this story, the kind of \'what if\' scenario. Berkley is really an ass, though. Glad to see I\'m not the only one who doesn\'t like him. ^_^

This is the first FAKE fic I\'ve tried reading, and i reeeeeaaaally like it! BUT, I hate cliffhangers!!!! AARGH! Please update soon, its a good story with a cool idea and I like all the background stuff on Ryo so far, hope there\'s more! Ok! waiting for that update!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! RYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
GOD WHAT ARE YOU NUTS?
HOW DARE YOU LEAVE RYO PROBABLY BLEEDING TO HIS DEATH!
THEY BETTER CATCH THAT PERP OR I\'LL....................
WAIT; WHAT AM I THINKING?
Ryo better be ok; please let Dee be the one to help ;-(

continuez, s\'il vous plait. This looks good.

well... it\'s good, not magnificent, but good. I\'d give it a B. Thing is, I don\'t know if you were aiming for it, but Ryo is really OCC. The canon Ryo isn\'t much of a crybaby. But, don\'t get me wrong, if that was your goal - to make Ryo OCC - then that\'s better. You should just try to clarify that point to people who haven\'t read it yet \'cuz some ppl love that kind of Ryo, and others don\'t. Also, if you\'re going to put a period in JJ\'s name, use two(J.J.), since it\'s just an abbreviation of Jemmy J., dont use -> JJ. Or just do like most fanfic writers do and put the plain, old JJ, since it\'s easiest. It\'s just that when you use JJ., it looks like it\'s the end of the sentence when it\'s really not.
And one last thing about JJ, you might not what to use the sempai term because they are in New York (as all FAKE fans know) and JJ isn\'t japanese, or to anyone\'s knowledge, know japanese (and even if he did it wouldn\'t work in your story). Tokyopop made a big mistake by putting that in the book (once) and the only reason it was there in the japanese version (of course) was to show the _japanese_ fans what the characters relationships with one another were.
Sorry if I sound harsh, I don\'t mean to be.
I do like the plot of the story and think its really original. I will continue to read but probably won\'t bother you with another review like this, unless i notice something that despertaly [<--I don\'t think that\'s spelled right] needs attention drawn to it, which wont be likely to happen, ne?
Blah.
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