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September 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This was a really nice story and if you do write another chapter I will for sure read it...
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March 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey i absolutely love this. You are gonna finish it right? Please let me know so i can come back to it.
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February 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
AAAAAH! Cliffy cliffy cliffy!
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October 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i want next chapters .o)
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August 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
oooo....i like...very sweet!
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July 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
It\'s a good start. Consider: how would a human react at a vampire\'s kiss? While Integra is a particularly strong woman, she might have misgivings about being that close to a vampire\'s feeding area. Alucard is a very mysterious character, and admittedly fun to toy with in fiction because his motivations are so open to interpretation. One of your good moments was mentioning him toying with the cookie. It is easy to picture Alucard doing such a thing. However, immediately putting his arms around her without much of a prelude seems a bit much. You\'re going to great lengths to set up an actual storyline, and for that I commend you. Try a different tactic on characterization, and you might find it writes itself. Keep it up! Practice makes perfect!
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July 10, 2005 at 12:00 AM
..
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July 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This has potential, but first I believe you are in serious need of a beta reader. I will gladly do it for you i you wish, this chapter and the one you are working on now so it can be the best it can be ^_^
I like it though any other way! Hope you update soon!
I like it though any other way! Hope you update soon!
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July 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Well, that was interesting.
Looke what the cat dragged in.
Check spelling and sentence flow, a few mistakes: woman, not women.
Will alucard be washing her back then?
Looke what the cat dragged in.
Check spelling and sentence flow, a few mistakes: woman, not women.
Will alucard be washing her back then?
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July 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
HAI!!
i liked your story a lot, though you have some spelling and grammar mistakes... but i am not the right person to give you advice on this since English is not my first language. everything else i absolutely loved loved loved loved. i will be waiitng for the next chap soon.. and oh! sure! make him wash her ... back, yeah her back... YEAH!!!! +ahem+
and you know what? i too have a red-coat fetish thing... my harem consists of:
1. Alucard
2. Dante from DMC3
3. Vincent Valentine FFVII (man, i saw him in the Advent Children trailers.... +faints+ that voice goddammit...)
so you r not alone i completely feel you... (that sounded kinda wrong but you know what i mean)
BAI IM LEAVING BAIII!!!
i liked your story a lot, though you have some spelling and grammar mistakes... but i am not the right person to give you advice on this since English is not my first language. everything else i absolutely loved loved loved loved. i will be waiitng for the next chap soon.. and oh! sure! make him wash her ... back, yeah her back... YEAH!!!! +ahem+
and you know what? i too have a red-coat fetish thing... my harem consists of:
1. Alucard
2. Dante from DMC3
3. Vincent Valentine FFVII (man, i saw him in the Advent Children trailers.... +faints+ that voice goddammit...)
so you r not alone i completely feel you... (that sounded kinda wrong but you know what i mean)
BAI IM LEAVING BAIII!!!