rate_review Reviews

Gah, between work and school I haven\'t had much time to do anything else! Excellent chapters! You\'re writing is definitely beginning to improve! Keep up the splendid work! I love the letter! It fits Muraki\'s personality perfectly! I can\'t wait for some Tsuzuki/Muraki action! *winks*

hey, I love this story, so please continu to write.

Thank you ^_^

Ps: even as your first yaoi fic, you are good, belive me!

Aw poor little Hisoka is all alone. I liked the brief bit with Tatsumi/Watari but
I would have figured Watari to be a little upset. After all isn\'t Tatsumi thinking
about Tsuzuki? Also, I think chapter 3 is fine the way it went. I figured that
you were making so that Tsuzuki had to first warm up to the doctor\'s advances
before more interesting things could happen. See you could have fooled me!
All in all great update - can\'t wait to see what\'s next.

Hay Kate. I\'mhappy for you that you got reviews =^-^= LOL. Well i may be posting mine soon too. Mwuahahaha. I Still love that scene with Muraki X Tsuzuki, hee hee hee. U BETTER GIVE ME CREDIT. LMAO
~*~ToNi~*~

Yay! Still good! But again, detail detail! You\'ve gotta slooooooow down and give us some imagery! Also, try to use other names for the characters rather than always calling them Muraki and Tsuzuki (for example: Muraki could be the doctor and Tsuzuki could be the shinigami..you know, little names...brunette, blonde -yeah, they say muraki is a platinum blonde *shrugs*- things like that so that the names are constantly repeated.) Give us a feeling for the surroundings as well! (ex: The den was warm, the red-orange flame of the victorian fireplace heating Tsuzuki\'s face...though this calm air did nothing to relax his nerves as a suspicious feeling rose within him....) you know what I mean? Try describing the surroundings and Tsuzuki\'s emotions to give us a kind of image to follow in our minds. Remember \'dirty laundry\'? Couldn\'t you just picture all of that? That\'s the kind of thing that all writers strive for! You\'re definitely on the right track! This story is excellent, especially for it being your very first yaoi fic! Continue when you can!

sorry about the chapter spacing this. it slipped my mind. to any of those who don\'t post stories, on the preview it comes out spaced but when posted it gets smashed. really sorry, i will fix it. and for the idea of weather i never thought of it. thanks. for tatsumi i think this is how he would act but if he seems too much like a crybaby please tell me. i will try and make him a little tougher. i hope you guys will post again and please write if you want to see so watari/tatsumi action.

also i\'m sorry for the thoughts in here. for some reason dont want to go italic for me. umm... if anyone knows if there is a way to do it that way please tell me.

yay! Another good chapter! You should try separating your paragraphs a tad more though, I must admit, I got a bit confused! lol! But still, such a teeny tiny mistake isn\'t big enough to change my opinion! Wonderful plot still! ooh, locked in a secluded house! Me likey! What wonderful little things will those two be getting into? *bounces* Do you have aim? Say hi sometime! I\'m cryoftheicetears and I\'d love to talk to you more! Anyway, update when you can! I\'ll keep checking back!

my aim is Sc00by D00 0315 if anyone wants to talk to me

Loved the story write more soon!bye