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schedule
January 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
okay hun, no offence but your writing with the spelling level of a kid in grade 2. Didn't anybody ever teach you the basic rules of writing...like paragraphs? honestly i'm not trying to be mean but there are simple rules to writing that any fool who has read a few novels should have picked up. each speaker gets his or her own paragraph each time they say something and everytime there is a change in topic or location you also mke a new paragraph. also don't forget tou use quotaion marks around the words the peple are speaking. also watch your gh's in things like might, sight. thought, ect...it's always g before the h....also maybe look for a bata reader to help you out a bit...
schedule
October 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
It has the potential to be a good story, but I suggest you use quotation marks when people are talking. Also, I think you should start a new line when another person begins speaking, like this:
"Hi, Masaya."
"Hello, Zakuro."
Yeah. And try to use paragraphs as well, otherwise reading it can get tiring.
"Hi, Masaya."
"Hello, Zakuro."
Yeah. And try to use paragraphs as well, otherwise reading it can get tiring.
schedule
January 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hey, it's pretty good, but you need to work on your writing, and spell check. And you wrote the names wrong. It Ichigo, and Kish, and Zakuro, and Masaya, etc. That's all I have to say, but please update soon, and include KishxIchigo romance!!!! LOTS OF IT. *HINT HINT* Lemon!!!
schedule
January 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
schedule
October 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I\'m not really a big Maysa fan ..... well ..actually ...I ... sorta ...no wait .....REALLY REALLY HATE MAYSA!!!!!! BUT you did an excellent job and I actually read the whole the cause usaully I don\'t read anything that doesn\'t have: #1. Maysa dieing #2. Maysa heartbroken #3. Ichigo breaking up with Maysa and running off with Kish . So yeah this is rather unusaul for me! Biut I still like it though! Now I\'ll go to my docter and see what\'s wrong with me !! ^__^;;; Just joking!!!!
schedule
September 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Ummm... the idea is good, but the caps are driving me nuts. Plus very poorly written too.
schedule
August 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
ok first of all, please do not take this as a flame, cause it\'s not. i actually think your story has alot of potential, and am hoping to see some more chapters. there\'s just somethings that need to be worked on.
1. spacing, try to space the sentences out more. into short paragraphs, this helps the readers alot.
2. puncutation. try not to use the caps all the time. and use quotation marks when people are talking. also when they are talking it helps if it is a seprate line espically if you\'re haveing the people reply.
3. make the chapters a little longer, and also if you\'re going to right a note at the end, space it so it isn\'t with the story.
4. try to describe whats happening more. and it always help to spell check.
that\'s basically it. update soon. ^________^
1. spacing, try to space the sentences out more. into short paragraphs, this helps the readers alot.
2. puncutation. try not to use the caps all the time. and use quotation marks when people are talking. also when they are talking it helps if it is a seprate line espically if you\'re haveing the people reply.
3. make the chapters a little longer, and also if you\'re going to right a note at the end, space it so it isn\'t with the story.
4. try to describe whats happening more. and it always help to spell check.
that\'s basically it. update soon. ^________^