schedule
February 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
this sounds like it will be good, please post again soon.
schedule
September 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
yes
lol is my name
lol
wtf no im just lazy and i was laughing
so there u go....
riiiiiiiiiiiight- *remembers im reviewing*
GOOD JOB!
lol
please update soon!
thanx!
lol is my name
lol
wtf no im just lazy and i was laughing
so there u go....
riiiiiiiiiiiight- *remembers im reviewing*
GOOD JOB!
lol
please update soon!
thanx!
schedule
September 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Decent for your first yaoi. To see Kyou and Yuki together.. Wow. But not surprising. Like that Kyou has cat ears.
schedule
September 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really liked your story, it was nice. I thought that the Cat ears and Tail were too cute! AWWWW.
There were only two things that I thought you could improve easily. Sometimes I got stuck on the redundancy of some of your sentences. For example, you would use a descriptive word twice in the same sentence (its easiest for the reader if you don\'t reuse in the same paragraph, it gives it better flow). Second, when you used the word \"others\" it was confusing. I think you meant other\'s in most cases, but even that throws it into another tense. This is the grammar-nazi coming out in me, and I\'m really not that good at it either.
Don\'t take me the wrong way though, I really did like your story a lot and CANNOT wait for you to continue. I know that I like constructive criticism given to me for any of my stories, and I think most people do. Keep writing, I\'m excited about this.
There were only two things that I thought you could improve easily. Sometimes I got stuck on the redundancy of some of your sentences. For example, you would use a descriptive word twice in the same sentence (its easiest for the reader if you don\'t reuse in the same paragraph, it gives it better flow). Second, when you used the word \"others\" it was confusing. I think you meant other\'s in most cases, but even that throws it into another tense. This is the grammar-nazi coming out in me, and I\'m really not that good at it either.
Don\'t take me the wrong way though, I really did like your story a lot and CANNOT wait for you to continue. I know that I like constructive criticism given to me for any of my stories, and I think most people do. Keep writing, I\'m excited about this.