schedule
September 30, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hmm... My suggestion to you is to find yourself a good beta to clean it up for you. I\'m not nit-picky enough to point out all of the grammatical errors, but I just had to mention one thing... Paragraphs! Paragraphs are good! They are our friends! Not only do they make your chapters look beefier, they make stories easier to read. One big, jumbled paragraph is frustrating to read. And it\'s hard on the eyes.
Good luck!
Good luck!
schedule
September 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Paragraphs are your friend.
A good narrative WON\'T REQUIRE BEING LABELED. If you have to label it to tell us what we\'re reading? You\'ve fucked up.
Don\'t count this as a positive review when you decide to write more.
A good narrative WON\'T REQUIRE BEING LABELED. If you have to label it to tell us what we\'re reading? You\'ve fucked up.
Don\'t count this as a positive review when you decide to write more.
schedule
September 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Haha like my name? :P Anyway, I just glanced through and it actually looked pretty good. I will read more later, the only thing, spell out four instead of 4...that might help. lol I dont mind but it makes the story look better :P Though from what I saw, good job ^_^ Ok well bye bye na no da! (make Shuichi shiny too lol)