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October 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Please update soon.
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October 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Today, on The Big Samurai Show (check your local listings): The phenomenon that is Mayfic. A number of up-and-coming posters in the Pokémon section at AFF have picked May as their character of choice, and she has since been set up in a number of different pairings. ... That brings me to this story, one of the most recent postings to capitalize on the expanding May fandom.
(Disclaimer: For the sake of covering my butt, I do not prefer \'fics that feature characters under the age of 18, but that does not mean I cannot review them. I notice that you have not included the ages of the characters, and that is wise. It covers your butt.)
The best thing about Chapter 1 is the fact that it points to several possibilities for May. Judging from the sights that she sees, the story might become Ash / May (following the Verse Man model that is starting to pick up steam), but ... that is not all. I cannot drop a spoiler, but there is a chance that the story might take a completely different direction. I certainly look forward to seeing it. Could it be that there is a chance of multiple sub-plots, too?
Errors are relatively few, mostly consisting of misplaced commas or improper dialogue closure. (The right way: “This is how to use a comma to close dialogue,” she said.) That is balanced out by very good description that succeeds in being rich in detail in both the lemon and non-lemon senses of the term. It certainly raises the bar for the Pokémon section. If only all posters took the time to think their way through description! Next to characterization, it is the most important part of any story, particularly a lemon.
Since Chapter 1 ends in such a way that it could go just about anywhere, there is certainly more to read, and I hope that you follow up on it. ... Consider this your official welcome to Mayfic, May fandom, and the Pokémon section in general, 47K. :-)
And mad props to Brock.
(Disclaimer: For the sake of covering my butt, I do not prefer \'fics that feature characters under the age of 18, but that does not mean I cannot review them. I notice that you have not included the ages of the characters, and that is wise. It covers your butt.)
The best thing about Chapter 1 is the fact that it points to several possibilities for May. Judging from the sights that she sees, the story might become Ash / May (following the Verse Man model that is starting to pick up steam), but ... that is not all. I cannot drop a spoiler, but there is a chance that the story might take a completely different direction. I certainly look forward to seeing it. Could it be that there is a chance of multiple sub-plots, too?
Errors are relatively few, mostly consisting of misplaced commas or improper dialogue closure. (The right way: “This is how to use a comma to close dialogue,” she said.) That is balanced out by very good description that succeeds in being rich in detail in both the lemon and non-lemon senses of the term. It certainly raises the bar for the Pokémon section. If only all posters took the time to think their way through description! Next to characterization, it is the most important part of any story, particularly a lemon.
Since Chapter 1 ends in such a way that it could go just about anywhere, there is certainly more to read, and I hope that you follow up on it. ... Consider this your official welcome to Mayfic, May fandom, and the Pokémon section in general, 47K. :-)
And mad props to Brock.