rate_review Reviews

Good Chapter but cant we get Yuki together with shu quicker? I am just so upset that they are not together. It hurts my heart. (crying in the corner) sniff, sniff, sniff , gulp, Please?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

About time we got another update.

I honestly don't understand how people can complain that the story isn't rushing to its conclusion. If anything, most fanfiction moves too fast and is over too soon. Patience is a virtue. I know we all want to see Yuki and Shuichi back together, especially in a fic where Yuki's true feelings are so openly loving and understood, but this isn't about "something gets in the way of Y/S and needs to be removed." This story is about the trials of love, life and the realities of human interaction. I'll look forward to reading however it turns out. I hope everyone can find some form of happiness in the end, whoever they choose to be with, or how they choose to live their lives.

Anyway, Sakano is written brilliantly here. You really brought him to life in this chapter. The scene between Yuki and Shuichi's mom was also brilliant. Also, I can just see Shuichi's ultimate decision to return to Japan having more to do with Yuki's intention to leave soon than anything else. And I can't wait to see the Shuichi/Ryuichi reunion. They got it right in this chapter when they said it'll be something to see, and probably drain the energy out of everyone around them (maybe even us spectators).

Of course we all understand the realities of work/school/life/inspiration and all, but don't keep us waiting too long for the next chapter. ^_^

As much as i've been really enjoying this story....it's starting to drag on a bit ^^; that doesn't mean its bad though, i've really enjoyed it so far but it doesn't seem like its comming to an end any time soon. I was so pleased to see you put Sakano in this chapter, he's my favourite *luffs Sakano* and i loved the part where he grabbed Ks gun off him. Also i'm really starting to hate Annette, your probably not trying to write her to be hated but i really wish she would go away >_< lol

Please update soon

*huggles*

Well, I didn't mention it before because I thought I was just imagining it, but since other people mentioned it I kinda felt a need to add in my own little comment. I was also wondering about the vibes at the end between Annette and Suguru. I have to say while I don't like her now, I think she might actually have a chance in my book, and in a few others, if she was with someone else and not Shuichi. Not trying to lead you somewhere with that comment btw. I just thought that might be an interesting twist and a way for people to see Annette without being....influenced.....(can't think of the word I'm looking for but that's close) by the fact that she's basically the one major barrier between Yuki and Shuichi.

YAY!!!!!!!!! You updated. I absolutely love this story and hope that you are inspired to write the next chapter soon. I look forward to it!

Wow, you're doing all this unplanned? It goes together so nicely that I couldn't tell. I'm so so so so SO glad that you updated; this story is my new obsession. Also, I really like how you didn't make Annette a bad person... so many people do that to any female character that gets in the way of their chosen pairing. Your way makes the story much more believable, and it's refreshing to see a well-done original character. I love the way you characterize, too; everyone is spot on. The whole story has me hanging on the edge of my seat!

About this chapter: The bit where Sakano is afraid that the hotel might be haunted made me laugh out loud, as did this: " “You won’t try to shoot him accidentally?” “No.” Though K had been trying to come up with some possible scenarios where he could do just that. Damn, foiled again!" Hee. Also, I love the way you showed a different side of Sakano. This line: "Tohma always had a hundred strings held in his hands and always knew just which one to pull to get the result that he wanted." What a great mental image, and so true! Heh, I like how Shuichi is still a big fan of Ryuichi's. Guess some things never change. I can't wait 'til Shuichi gets to 're-meet' Ryuichi. (I heart Ryuichi...heh.) I liked Shuichi's response to K reaching into his jacket ...classic Pavlovian conditioning. Also, the Fujisaki/Annette thing you have going toward the end is cute. Or am I just imagining it?

Anyway, great job. I really love this story and will be eagerly awaiting the next installment.

You know I found myself thinking, at the part where Annette talked about Shuichi slipping away, screaming "Slip Away, Shuichi, slip far far away" in my head:D You know it had actually been so long since the last update that when I saw the story, I was like OMG yes, I completely forgot about this story. You know, actually reading that, it sounds a bit like an insult, but I really don't mean it to be. I do like your story, though I really wish you'd get rid of Annette. I think one of the hardest parts about stories like this is the desire to see something happen quickly but the story not being updated everyday to bring this desire closer to reality quicker. Hmmm...does that make any sense? Anyways I did like this chapter, though everytime it feels like your trying so hard to make a case for Annette. I don't think you want to readers to hate her and so you write all these things, to try to make us see her POV and to get rid of the "Annette should die, stupid bitch" mindset. I'm not sure if this is what you were planning all along, or if you putting it in in response to all the reviewers that hate Annette, but I have to say I could really do without it. I think that's about the only part of the chapter that I really don't like. I know that Annette is there and that she's a part of this but putting in a section where Fujisaki completely contributes Shuichi's positive changes to Annette just makes me dislike her even more. Anyways I do still believe that she didn't truly make an effort on his behalf to find out who he was. And to the people who would say that Shuichi is an adult and he could have done it himself, as bubbleheaded as he is normally and as...confused as he would have been being in a place with people he didn't know speaking a language he didn't know, I'm not sure he would have thought of it. Because when you think about it, any normal person, first thing they would have done after not finding anything at the address they went to would have tried to find their countries embassy. And I think I remember somebody (maybe you), saying that for all he knew he was American and so he wouldn't think to look. I don't buy into that. He spoke only japanese, pretty much the only people in this country who speak only their native language, and don't know any english are hispanics. And some people may see this as racist, but I speak from experience. I live in Miami, surrounded by people from all over the place, and the only foreign people I constantly encounter that know no english are hispanics. Ok he may not have thought of all of that, but I think the logical step would be to try to find the japanese embassy. So obviously Shuichi is not the most logical person in the world. I truly believe that if she really truly cared for him she would have made a true effort to find out who he was before starting something with him. You saw how quickly they found all kinds of information on him, just going to a website of a japanese newspaper, I think. If she had just suggested they'd done that (look in japanese newspapers or magazines, maybe looking for something on a missing person), knowing he was most likely japanese and that the crash he'd been in was something that was so publicized, then they probably could have found out who he was a lot sooner and wouldn't be going through all this now. So at the end of this loooooooooooooong review, I guess all I basically have to say is that I really really don't like Annette and I hope you get rid of her soon. And also that no matter how much you try to portray Annette in a positive light, I and I'm sure a few others will always dislike her. On to the rest of the story, I like who your portraying the slow transition of Shu back into Shuichi.. The clothes, the slight changes in behavior. Cool. I thought the part with Sakano and K was quite funny. I can just imagine how freaked out K had to have been having this wobbly guy pointing a gun all set to fire in his direction. Very cool:) Anyways that's all for me, I'm sure your probably happy to see this review end and probably a little tired of hearing how much I hate Annette, but I can't promise stopping until Annette is well and gone. And that isn't meant as like a threat or anything, just a statement. So yea, I do like your story a lot and I can't wait til the next chapter.

Wow, this story is addictive! Please continue; I'm dying to see what happens next.

Well...phoo...my review disappeared. I'll try to remember what I said...

As I've said elsewhere...I love this fic. It's one of the most gently insightful pieces I've run across, and considering it's based on a very insightful original work, that's saying something.

I'd like to point out, in addition to your very adept defense of your position with Yuki...I know a LOT of authors...many of them write-for-a-living type authors and Yuki's response to the situation rings VERY true. Fiction authors, esp those who write intensely character-driven pieces, tend to dreadfully over-analyse real-life situations and to respond outside the parameters of normal human actions. The smarter the person, the more the variables, the more horrible scenarios they can envision, and so the more elaborate their efforts to handle the situation.

Hmmm...I said this much better the last time I wrote it. Wish I could remember what I said, but it's too late. Anyway...I hope I've made my point...you've put our belovedly paranoid author into one heck of a situation...one for which the answer is not obvious...and he's trying to edit his way to a satisfactory conclusion. I find it utterly believable and charming.

The one thing I'd love is if you'd be a bit more careful of proper use of pronouns. This is becoming indemic in our common grammar and you're too good a writer to be making the mistake. (Don't listen to the expletive-deleted newscasters who are some of the worst.)

To wit: He/him, I/me, she/her. PLEASE...it's an easy fix. Yuki and him, Yuki and he; Yuki and me, Yuki and I; Yuki and she, Yuki and her. Don't even worry about parts of speach. Just try leaving out the "Yuki and" and use the obviously correct word. PLEASE.

Great story! I'm enjoying it immensely! Do update soon...I want to know how Yuki gets Shu-chan back. Please? ><