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by Babygirl132

schedule June 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Please use spell check. I was too distracted by the spelling and grammar errors to even give this a proper read. Better luck next time.
person Arika*.D
schedule August 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This being your first story,for the most part you did pretty good. There were many spelling and grammer mistakes,and it did seem a little rushed. Make sure to always go back and re-read everything. Well anyways keep at it, okay?

Have a pleasant something.~
person Akasha
schedule November 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You may wanna try splitting this up in a few more paragraphs (the lemon especially) and get a beta so they can check over your fic.
person K
schedule November 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
It was on ok story. Seriously though get a beta reader or something to check your spelling and grammar. You could use some work in that area.

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