schedule
September 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
you have the right idea. but the story was sub par at best. keep trying
schedule
December 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
The storyline isn't so good but the smut is great! can't wait for the next chapter! ^_^
schedule
November 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
hey that was fucking asome keep up the good work and make another ch. with Asuka in it
schedule
October 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Not bad. Looking forward to your addition to this one.
schedule
October 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hmm, let\'s see where to start.
First of all, I\'m glad to see more stories coming to the Evangelion section but I have a few complaints with the story. One of thing that made the story itself feel off was that the characters were kind of only there in name not to mention that the plot itself was kind of weak but then again not many people seem to care about plot for real when it comes to this. Shinji is basically another person with the same name. What happened to the boy who we saw in the series? Why was Maya the one to start conversation? First-name basis? Misato getting drunk enough to do that this early in the series? Not shutting you down or anything, just curious.
Another thing was the writing itself. Script format isn\'t the devil or anything but it usually lacks the detail needed to make the story good. I didn\'t really check your grammar or spelling for real but I have to stress that script format isn\'t really that good for this type of writing. I kind of overlooked the sex since I\'m one to enjoy a story more but the bit I did read was, again, a bit weak. Not because you didn\'t try or anything but, like I said before, it\'s like the characters we know aren\'t there. It\'s like you took an original story you wrote, added some situations, and changed some names.
Not trying to flame you or anything but try reading some other stories to get more of a grasp on what you want to do before you start. Anyone can get better at something they do so I\'m certain you can do better than this.
First of all, I\'m glad to see more stories coming to the Evangelion section but I have a few complaints with the story. One of thing that made the story itself feel off was that the characters were kind of only there in name not to mention that the plot itself was kind of weak but then again not many people seem to care about plot for real when it comes to this. Shinji is basically another person with the same name. What happened to the boy who we saw in the series? Why was Maya the one to start conversation? First-name basis? Misato getting drunk enough to do that this early in the series? Not shutting you down or anything, just curious.
Another thing was the writing itself. Script format isn\'t the devil or anything but it usually lacks the detail needed to make the story good. I didn\'t really check your grammar or spelling for real but I have to stress that script format isn\'t really that good for this type of writing. I kind of overlooked the sex since I\'m one to enjoy a story more but the bit I did read was, again, a bit weak. Not because you didn\'t try or anything but, like I said before, it\'s like the characters we know aren\'t there. It\'s like you took an original story you wrote, added some situations, and changed some names.
Not trying to flame you or anything but try reading some other stories to get more of a grasp on what you want to do before you start. Anyone can get better at something they do so I\'m certain you can do better than this.