rate_review Reviews

well, the only problem i see here, is tryng to deicifer what the people say, but this is easily fixed, just put a space between everytime a speaker changes, it'll make things easier to understand, good fic so far btw, plz continue

It\'s a very artistic way of writing and probably one of the most interesting writing styles I\'ve encountered. I\'m not that fond of first person stories myself but the creative way you wrote the story made up for that. The only thing I\'d want to point out is that you got to redundant with some words but I can\'t be sure if it was intentional or not, you may have kept using the same words to stress the point. Another point of interest besides the subject of here and there was her view on sex. From her thoughts, it would seem like she simply didn\'t care about the affair but, at the same time, it sort of contridicts since she sees something in Gendo and wants more of what she\'s getting.

I probably got it wrong so I\'ll take another look at it later. Got some writing to do right now.

I think it\'s somewhat unfair that this is rated so low. It\'s well written and a fresh idea. Come on guys, it doesn\'t always have to be \"Shinji does everyone\".

Here is a review for your story.

Pretty good. I\'ve never really liked 1st-person fiction, but I do like what you\'ve written with this fic. The whole \'here\' thing actually works quite well. I hope you\'ll continue the fic and ramp up the kinkiness.