rate_review Reviews

It was a touch squished together but not bad really. As for MR. Sighs review tell him to bite you. It's your story if you want yuki and shu to come a thousand times in one night so be it! They act all high and mighty. Do they know these things for a fact or just what they've heard? As for yuki and shu being out of chatacter well I'm not so sure shu was that far out of character. But yuki was way out of character. But again if this is what you want then again so be it! If I had a penny for every story I read where yuki was way out of character I'd be rich right now. But it wasn't a total wasted story. You might look for a beta reader to help you out and get the story fixed up better.

And THIS kiddies is why children shouldn\'t write porn. At least learn to write and have sex first! Grammer, spelling, and puctuation are our friends, the characters should be IN character and men can NOT come that many times in one sitting.

You know, lemon for the sake of lemon is just NOT enough.
Don\'t get me wrong, I dig PWPs, nothing wrong about them, but a little bit of structure and coherence would be good too.
I also love Yuki and Shu romance and such, but Yuki-kun and Shu-chan it\'s just too terrible, please.

It wasn\'t the easiest fic to read. So many Yuki did this and Shuichi did thats. Made it all mush together and very hard to follow