rate_review Reviews

Well, 'bad' is right.

that was.. totally disturbing.

okay, very disturbing. except for the whole murder in the end its not too bad. But you mught want to be consitant with the names. Its not really all that great to mix their english and japanese names. It's best to keep it consistant. Either use Rini like the begining or Chibi-Usa. It's not a bad story I think if you'd expand upon it, it wouldn't be as you put it a bad fiction. It was okay by itself but maybe expand and make it great, how did Beryl get to him? How was he convince that Serena was in danger? How did he get Rini in this position? Why Beryl? She was long dead before Rini ever came into the picture. Maybe have like Tigers eye and Hawks eye be there to help torture her and have their way with her or maybe the wiseman was the one who talked Sammy into this and maybe even watching. Please don't feel this is a flame as I find the story good just needing work to make it even better.

Oh my...

Disturbing...*cough*

But not bad, not bad at all...

Just disturbing...

Wow! :0( That was good(I guess)!
What gave you an idea like that to
have mini moon raped really,really hard?
well I guess keep writing