rate_review Reviews

this i think is your best chapter when will you make the next???? any way it was a perfect story. email me back when you know it will be finished

Well, the writing gets better with each chapter, fewer spelling errors, etc. Not sure if Mutsumi would do that to someone she loved, also, you had her far more calculating than I believe is in her character. Also, for her to medicate someone without knowing the contraindications of whatever other meds they might be taking could be lethal.

O.k. Having said all that, I still like this fic, because your flow is pretty good, and I want to see what you do next. I was quite afraid there for a moment that Mutsu-san was going to take her own life, that's how good your buildup was.

Good luck!

W.

Sweet describes this to a T

Just pure dreamy-steamy, I like, I like. Do one with Motoko!! You're damn good!

Another great chapter,
Keep writing

Nice story, hope you update this one soon.

btw fyi, its ADIEU... thats how its spelt... i do french after all.. but its cute.

The second chapter was great.
Great job describing the scenes and setting up the plot.
I think your idea to limit the number of pairings for your story is a good choice, maybe give keitaro a fling with someone else, but its clear that he and Naru have real feelings for each other in your story. Its definitely fun to watch Motoko squirm over seeing Naru and Keitaro together.
Please write more chapters.

A wonderful short little story. I would love to see more. My tastes usually run towards much longer stories but this one was very good. I was glad I read it.

Nice piece of work, the only comment I have is that this is just any two people having great sex, there isn't much of their personality in this story.

A little too fast imo, but I guess Im just spoiled. ^_^; "It was stormy... his hand was in her pants." <--- Maybe a little info on how they got that way perhapses?

Great job on your first try.