rate_review Reviews

Ok, see, this is just some crude "for your own good" flaming. :D I loved this story. No doubt you did a good job on the characters... That frikkin blondie was the perfect shade of nice and evil! And Riki, well, I think you did a wonderful job with his character. I thought the story was progressing rather fine, in my opinion... But then you had to end it like that. And so-- my flaming begins.

First. For not having intentions of elaborating on the matter of the 'pets' apartments in the warehouses, you gave up too much writing detail to them in the story. The matter was never brought before other blondies, and the matter was never presented to Jupiter. And so, I must admit that in writing, you totally failed in that area. You didn't finish something that you had started, and at some point, gave a rather large emphesis of importance in the story.

Second. I realize that (don't mind the nick name, I love to call him by the name Riki calls him... hehe), the bastard is basically the most important person in the world, and everyone fears him in some degree. But he still has his authority figure-- Jupiter. You never had him comfront Jupiter over it. You gave THAT matter less attention than you gave to the patter of the apartments for pets, but still, to their realtionship, I would think that it would be an important aspect... Even the bastard was scared (to some degree, I think) of what would happen!

So in conclusion... I think you left the story unfinished, and rushed the ending a little too soon. Sure the whole "it will always be this way... he will never submit, and neither will I" thing was all fine and dandy for an ending... but the thing is, you left matters unfinished. ANd unless you're planning on writing a sequal... O_O

Learn from your mistakes. Haha... Like I said, I thought everything was going fine and dandy until your last chapter... Try not to leave matters unfinished in your next stories. You're good and you have a heck of a lot more potential than I do... But I must admit that when an author doesnt satsify the reader... They dont get mcuh.


ANyways, this was constructive flaming (I hope), so please dont take it the wrong way! Basically I just wanted to point out those mistakes, since everyone seemed to be overlooking them (or at least the revewiers that I read... I had to read some to see if anyone mentioned it. I had planned that if enough people had banged your head about it, I would be nice and ignore the problem...). And now that I did point them out, over all, your story was good... :P Dont give up... Keep writing!


~Gaara_of_the_desert~

This was a a really good story.In this version Iason appears to be more colder and Riki appears to be more submissive. In Kira's version of Ai no Kusabi, Iason at times would appear cold but most of the time he was more open and warm hearted to Riki,Riki puts up more resistance towards Iason. I'm looking forward into reading more of your work. Good job on this fic!

Your story was riveting. I printed out all the chapters and spent about three hours reading and enjoying it. Usually 99.9% of stories have something wrong with them that I usally forbear to mention. But there is NOTHING wrong with yours. It's good, solid, high quality writing. Could you please write another story about Iason and Riki?

Yikes, poor Riki. ^^ I love that anime and this story's good, really.

This is almost like a story to fill in the gaps of the year Riki got trained as a pet ne? ^^ Love it, so sweet(in certain parts only...)

Wah that's deep, love it!

Aw, and the relationship grows! Nice.

Freaking awesome, can't wait for the next updTE.

Wah, luv ya. That was great, "Riki's submission" got my eyes glued to the screen for two hours continuously. ^^ Awesome job.

Finally found it..... Your such a good author. I loved this story.. I hate it, because it ended. But like everygood thing, it must come to an end...