rate_review Reviews

I have to admit that I'm confused about chapter two, when Keiki and "Enho" were having their conversation, and discussing the King of En. You do realize, don't you, that Enho IS the King of En, right? Enho is his proper title. En-KI is the Kirin of En. If the Kirin is who Keiki was actually discussing this with, I'd suggest going back and changing the name, as that's a rather obvious mistake. I'm also assuming it's EnKI that's supposed to be watching over Kei while Youko visits En, not the emperor, otherwise what's the point of her going there to visit him?

Anyway, to recap some important titles:

Keiho - Kei's Empress

Enho - En's Emperor

Keiki - Kei's Kirin/Taiho

Enki - En's Kirin/Taiho

A Ki is a male Kirin, thus Enki, Keiki, Taiki

A Rin is a female Kirin, thus Kourin

Other than that, the story isn't bad so far, except I don't like how Keiki talks "dirty" to and is agressive with Youko. It strikes me as being *completely* out of character for him. Even during sex, I'm certain he would be gentle and respectful, as is his Kirin nature. She's his empress, after all, and first and foremost, he is her Kirin.

There's also the question of what would happen if Youko is still a virgin (I have no reason to believe she isn't), and he takes her, and she bleeds as all virgins do after their first time. Remember that Kirin cannot tolerate the scent, sight, or smell of blood. They are too pure to handle it, and they grow weak and pass out. That could make things very difficult during certain situations. Just some things to think about as you write this story. Admittedly, I've only read to chapter two so far, and I realize you have a couple more written that might already have these questions resolved. But I thought I should at least give you some things to think about to make your story more believable if you haven't reached any of those stages yet.

You know what, never mind. Ignore my last review about the whole Ki/Ho thing. @_@ For some reason I was confusing ho with ou. I don't know why; I was just watching the series last night for the third time. Lack of sleep, I guess. *smacks head on desk*

Anyway, ignoring that part, I still do stand by what I said about Keiki's personality, and his inability to stand the scent or touch of blood.

Anyway, going away now.

ha i like your story cos it does have a sequence in plot which helps build up the relationship of the different characters.

unlike some impatient authors who plunged straight into the confrontation of a 'relationship' betwen keiki and youko, i find that u have a gd approach wif this youko/keiki fic ( life is not tat smooth sailing blah blah and we will always find some sort of obstacle before we can actually find the sweetness in life etc etc =P so in this case i guess that it is more a 'journey' for keiki to find out the meaning of love)

will be looking forward to ur update so jia you !!!

^_^

WOW! YAY!! FINALLY!! Someone finally wrote a Twelve Kingdoms fanfiction LEMON, and a VERY GOOD one I might add!

I thought I'd never see one and Twelve Kingdoms is my most favorite anime of all time! I suppose because there is an absence of romance in TK, that one wishes for a romance and a lemon at that. I think everyone is written in character and even your made up story of the samurai blends in well. In the meantime, GREAT job and hope to see and update soon!!

I adore the 12 Kingdoms and am so glad that you have posted here. (I love Keiki!!!!)
ANYway, a confused-yet-seeking-answers Keiki is very nice. Will he come to understand and even love his Queen the way that we want him to? HMMMMMMM? :) Please write more soon.

Finally, a Twelve Kingdoms fic I can enjoy reading! All I ever seem to find are Rakushuun/Yoko pairings and it makes me want to bang a few heads together. My dear, you have some serious talent and the way you are weaving this story is beautifully mastered. While I have not yet seen/bought the second season of this beloved show, I have read a bit on it and have the first season to fall back on, and as far as I'm concerned, you have the characters down to the tee.

Your descriptions are unique and lovely and the steam teases the senses and draws the reader in for an enjoyable and worthwhile wait as the story progresses. The story about Horai was also a good inclusion but I hope you don't focus on it so much that it draws away from what the fans of this story want to see: Keiki and Yoko coming together. Your fic is polished and has a good length to each chapter, though I'm a sucker for epic-length, I'll admit. I do hope that you will continue this fic, despite the lack of reviews, as I have seen happen often. This is too good a story to let go of and I am eagerly looking forward to the next installment. Until then!

The inclusion of the book of hourai was really interesting. I'm not sure if it was part fact or all fiction that u created, but it was really good in the sense that there's a link to hourai. Most of the anime only relates to hourai abt Taiki, or the Kirins and their Kings, but not much about hourai's happening itself. This chapter itself on the dwelling of Keiki is interesting, although it would be nice if you delved deeper and more indepth into his character and his findings, and create more of a conversation between these two would be nice.Maybe that could be used for the later chapters. In anyway, i'm happy to see the new developments.

Please keep it up.
Nic

I love this story! Couldn't have been able to imagine the look on Keiki's face when he was telling Enho abt those "intimate" stuff that Youko wanted to do with En-ou.hahaha. I thought Youko was gonna wake up from the dream in the hot spring with Keiki running in to her rescue after she called his name! But the whole tiredness thing was good too, since it helped give the Kirin a chance to stay with her until she woke up.
Although i felt that the part abt Youko touching his hair ..and then suddenly nudging him awake was too jarring and too abrubt. It would have been good if u placed in more scenes of her exploring him up close since he's asleep..or giving thoughts to her feelings, or making her speak her thoughts while he's sleeping(but he was too deep in sleep to hear her)..maybe except a few of her last words abt him before he suddenly woke? That would create more "umhp" to the flirtations going on between them.
Well, two reviews by now, so i guess its picking up. Keep continuing and i'm sure its gonna take off. I'll be waiting for ur next chapter.
Nic

Great!Great!Great!
Can't wait to read another chapters!!!

Finally 12K fanfics have appeared here after so many years. I'm glad that you wrote one on this pair since its one of the more popular ones that needs to be written about! I love youko/keiki pairings, although youko/shoryuu pairings are also very perfect. I love your story and the fact that things are progressing well between them, especially the possibility of them ending up together as a couple in the end. Keep up the good work and I'm sure more 12K fans are gonna start reviewing and pouring in their own share of ideas abt ur story.
By the way, the idea of suiguu showing the possible future for Youko is a refreshing surprise..and a nice one at that! I love the story.

Nic