schedule
January 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This story is amazing! I'm a bit of a newbie to Death Note, 11 into the anime and not got hold of the manga yet. However sdespite that I am totally drawn into the world you've created around these characters. The interaction between Raito and Ryuzaki is complex and yet so touching; while at the same time full of tension because of Raito's past.
You've managed to balance the sadness and the sweetness really well so that one moment I'm smiling, the next my throat's chocked for the pair. Above all I find it extremley well written. You approach the almost D/s aspects of the relationship well, and make it feel (for me anyway) completely natural to the pair. At the same time the level of intimacy you manage to convey with your words makes me shiver.
I love seeing them live together, being a couple in their little eccentricities, whilst at the same time maintaining the tension and energy that colours their relationship in canon. Maybe the closeness is a little ooc for some, but it fits perfectly into my fangirlish world hehe
I can't wait to see the next chapter!
Hugs and apples
Akiko
You've managed to balance the sadness and the sweetness really well so that one moment I'm smiling, the next my throat's chocked for the pair. Above all I find it extremley well written. You approach the almost D/s aspects of the relationship well, and make it feel (for me anyway) completely natural to the pair. At the same time the level of intimacy you manage to convey with your words makes me shiver.
I love seeing them live together, being a couple in their little eccentricities, whilst at the same time maintaining the tension and energy that colours their relationship in canon. Maybe the closeness is a little ooc for some, but it fits perfectly into my fangirlish world hehe
I can't wait to see the next chapter!
Hugs and apples
Akiko
schedule
January 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
HUZZAH! Finally! A death note fic that doesn't make me want to go jump off a bridge in despair and hopelessness.
I really, really like this story. Like- A LOT. And I'm a picky, picky fellow. This is extrememly entertaining, and well written. Props to you.
Wow, I really like the two endings (I think maybe...you should have written the ending to death note xD)
It's so sweet >.< I asolutely love it. Oh! Right, I think I'd have to say that I love each version of chapters 4 & 5 for what character deveoplment happens in each...but I think I'd have to go with chapter 4. version 1. And chapter 5. version two. Let me elaborate.
I perfer ch4 ver. 1 because I think it's a lot more interesting than it's ver.2 counterpart. The conversation between Misa and Raito (and...kinda L xD) is much more true to the nature of their characters, I think. Misa is really stuborn, and emotionally scared, so it that seemed to me she'd be much more traumatizied by finding out about the whole raito x L buisness. And would have a bigger fit about it. Which you did an exellent way of portraying in this chapter ; D. The whole panic attack with L was surprisingly believable, and seemed to fit his character really well! I really liked it.
I also like how you delved into L's desctructive behaviors, why he'd been doing that kinda thing, how he feels he's failing Raiot- UHG. Really good. (Although I have to say that the...opeining scene to ch. 4 ver. 2 was EXTREMELY HOT you win. Period. XD) Although, when raito was describing the previous days' inccident, when he said "eat his own hand" I took it literally. XD It took me a while to catch on, haha.
Why I perfer chp. 5 ver. 2 better is because of how you decided to let raito die for a bit, therefore skipping the immediate intake of memmories, allowing more to happen in the chapter. You could see more of the character's emotions from this event, rather than in chapter 5 ver. 1. It seemed a lot more connected to the characters. And I also liked it how they weren't planning anything(with the death note)out. It was a lot less stressful than the other chapter. Just less to worry about, and you can see how much they really care about eachother. Beautiful conclusion to that chapter!
What I especially like about his particular fanfic is how it's not mindless smut. The scenes are gorgeously written, and they serve a purpose.
1) showing how intimate the characters are,
2) revealing thoughts, and emotions that could not be explained without these scenes,
3) and making us happy (XD) haha, kidding.
It's also just a good way to get a feeling of an actual relationship from the scenes, and feeling of intimacy rather than having it implied. YESH.
What I'd like to see for the previous chapters...not to see the story end! Please! Don't end it soon. Keep going!! You're a fantastic writter and there's so many possiblities to take from this point. What I'd purely personally like to see would maybe be a little bit more focus on L. The story is tends to be geared at bit unevenly towards Raito from time to time. It seems he tends to be the only person in peril. Maybe somthing more dramtic could happen to L? I won't give you any suggestions as to what(because you're much more amazing than myself at that)
ALRIGHT (phew) that's all! Continue the splendiferous work, and I'll have to keep commenting on every chapter here on out ; D
I intently look forward to seeing the next chapter! Until next time, Good luck!!
I really, really like this story. Like- A LOT. And I'm a picky, picky fellow. This is extrememly entertaining, and well written. Props to you.
Wow, I really like the two endings (I think maybe...you should have written the ending to death note xD)
It's so sweet >.< I asolutely love it. Oh! Right, I think I'd have to say that I love each version of chapters 4 & 5 for what character deveoplment happens in each...but I think I'd have to go with chapter 4. version 1. And chapter 5. version two. Let me elaborate.
I perfer ch4 ver. 1 because I think it's a lot more interesting than it's ver.2 counterpart. The conversation between Misa and Raito (and...kinda L xD) is much more true to the nature of their characters, I think. Misa is really stuborn, and emotionally scared, so it that seemed to me she'd be much more traumatizied by finding out about the whole raito x L buisness. And would have a bigger fit about it. Which you did an exellent way of portraying in this chapter ; D. The whole panic attack with L was surprisingly believable, and seemed to fit his character really well! I really liked it.
I also like how you delved into L's desctructive behaviors, why he'd been doing that kinda thing, how he feels he's failing Raiot- UHG. Really good. (Although I have to say that the...opeining scene to ch. 4 ver. 2 was EXTREMELY HOT you win. Period. XD) Although, when raito was describing the previous days' inccident, when he said "eat his own hand" I took it literally. XD It took me a while to catch on, haha.
Why I perfer chp. 5 ver. 2 better is because of how you decided to let raito die for a bit, therefore skipping the immediate intake of memmories, allowing more to happen in the chapter. You could see more of the character's emotions from this event, rather than in chapter 5 ver. 1. It seemed a lot more connected to the characters. And I also liked it how they weren't planning anything(with the death note)out. It was a lot less stressful than the other chapter. Just less to worry about, and you can see how much they really care about eachother. Beautiful conclusion to that chapter!
What I especially like about his particular fanfic is how it's not mindless smut. The scenes are gorgeously written, and they serve a purpose.
1) showing how intimate the characters are,
2) revealing thoughts, and emotions that could not be explained without these scenes,
3) and making us happy (XD) haha, kidding.
It's also just a good way to get a feeling of an actual relationship from the scenes, and feeling of intimacy rather than having it implied. YESH.
What I'd like to see for the previous chapters...not to see the story end! Please! Don't end it soon. Keep going!! You're a fantastic writter and there's so many possiblities to take from this point. What I'd purely personally like to see would maybe be a little bit more focus on L. The story is tends to be geared at bit unevenly towards Raito from time to time. It seems he tends to be the only person in peril. Maybe somthing more dramtic could happen to L? I won't give you any suggestions as to what(because you're much more amazing than myself at that)
ALRIGHT (phew) that's all! Continue the splendiferous work, and I'll have to keep commenting on every chapter here on out ; D
I intently look forward to seeing the next chapter! Until next time, Good luck!!
schedule
January 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
PLEASE Keep writing this story. I want to see what kind of new torture you can put them through, and what else they do with this awesome new power. I can't tell if i like version 1 or version 2 more! I was leading towards 1 but that twist at the end with the telepathy made version 2 neck and neck with it! Maybe in version two you can have the Shinigami coming to investigate, since nothing like that has happened before? It might be cool!
Anyway, please update, and PLEASE don't let it end!
Anyway, please update, and PLEASE don't let it end!
schedule
December 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Aww! I love this story!
It's extremely well written and very touching. I have only read the first chapter and already I'm intrigued and addicted!
You've expressed so much in the detail and wording you've used! This is one of the few slash pairings I will read. I love the strength of their minds, their friendship, the competition, the yearning they have for each other's approval, the way they motivate each other! I love the story period!
You've added such a nice touch to it. Very sensitive! All warm and squishy!
Thank you!
It's extremely well written and very touching. I have only read the first chapter and already I'm intrigued and addicted!
You've expressed so much in the detail and wording you've used! This is one of the few slash pairings I will read. I love the strength of their minds, their friendship, the competition, the yearning they have for each other's approval, the way they motivate each other! I love the story period!
You've added such a nice touch to it. Very sensitive! All warm and squishy!
Thank you!
schedule
December 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
omg. I love you. Your fanfic is AMAZING. :] I loved it. L X Raito is my favorite coupling. I love how accurately you captured the character's personality. I really love all those sweet moments together and they are so hawt together. <3
schedule
December 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
OMG! This story is so cool!I just finished the manga and have been trying to find fanworks of this pairing. I have to say this is THE best L X Raito story i have ever read....no seriously. Is it difficult for you to write two versions that similar and different at the same time? Of course, I enjoy both of them. Good Luck and keep updating! I will see you in 2007!!!! <3<3<3<3<3 ^_^
schedule
December 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i love this. and you. and the great drawings!
schedule
December 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
aww :D It's me again...
this fic is like...epic!
I swear I've never gone through so many complicated emotions like this with fanfiction--EVER!
this fic should be made into a movie! a HOT movie XDD!! That I would watch again and again...awww...*squeee* this makes me think of really really good korean movies. :DD
merii kurisumasu and happy new year dear. and thanks for updating, you busy bee! go you! chapters of your length are hard to come by in the hard and fast smut world of raitoxl fiction. best holiday wishes!
this fic is like...epic!
I swear I've never gone through so many complicated emotions like this with fanfiction--EVER!
this fic should be made into a movie! a HOT movie XDD!! That I would watch again and again...awww...*squeee* this makes me think of really really good korean movies. :DD
merii kurisumasu and happy new year dear. and thanks for updating, you busy bee! go you! chapters of your length are hard to come by in the hard and fast smut world of raitoxl fiction. best holiday wishes!
schedule
December 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Yay, what a woderful christmas gift to finally get an update^^
Can't believe that L killed, but what would'n one do for love, aye.
Heading off to reade the second version.
Can't believe that L killed, but what would'n one do for love, aye.
Heading off to reade the second version.
schedule
December 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hey I just read this straight through, loved it and the alternate endings. I'm so happy Raito didn't turn evil and cast L out and in both instances they found some semblance of love. Can you please ad me to your update list? Thanks m0rlana@yahoo.com