rate_review Reviews

Oh my god.... Just because they are demons doesn't mean they're anatomically different... Poor Hakkai.

Wow, this is like chumming. These people smell blood and want some action! It's pitiful.

What's said is said, going over the lines over and over again make for very poor reviews.

Not to mention ignorant ones as well. Considering that the act described in your fic is not only possible but happens often with certain individuals.

You people have access to the internet and don't know this, ready to stone the girl for her fic...on AFF. Do you guys know where you are? Would you like me to point you to the exit? I'd be happy to oblige. Cause this is overkill, for no good reason either. And the worst part about it is that you guys don't know what the fuck you're talking about, it's nigh sinful!

Yes, urethra play is quite possible. Do yourselves a favor before you squawk about something that CAN'T be done and google "kids in a sandbox"

Also, look up Sounding while you're at it. You should also apologize to the author for your stupid, and next time, just keep it to yourselves.

Author: Put a warning in the summary. Also, the way you wrote it just doesn't come off right for the subject. It sounds more like you replaced penis with vagina, they're not interchangeable. But honestly this fic is in the right place, people are just fucking stupid.

...Well. That was certainly... interesting.

The Internet is a terrifying place, and has proven that on one count, most of your flames are wrong: this IS possible. But. BUT. We're talking YEARS of preparation and agonizing pain above and beyond masochistic tendencies. Yikes. This fic can turn on two groups of people: underage girls who don't know how mansex works, and the people that get off on urethral torture. The rest of us are clutching at our reproductive organs in /pain/, not enjoyment.

As for not wanting negative feedback, well, that makes you a poor author. You have to be willing to accept concrit, and even if you got it because the reader misunderstood or they're just plain wrong, you use it to improve anyway. If you don't want criticism and you aren't getting praise, take it off the Internet. That's all it takes.

Ok so I'm sorry if this sounds rude but- oh my god! What the heck. I mean yeah sure they're demons I'll give you that but hey they still hurt! If you don't believe me watch the show or read the manga- they bleed and hurt. Even if they can stand more, I think this would be out of their comfort level. Hell I think BDSM freaks would be screaming the safe word as soon as someone tried to push a finger in there.

I mean I feel that poor Hakkai will pass out, so maybe it will be a good time for Gojyo, but I really don't think anyone else will have a fun time- not even Sanzo and Goku when they realize that Hakkai is passed out from the pain for a long time.

Even if you do argue that they are demons there just is the impossibleness of it. I'm sorry if I sound cruel, I just thought you should know that this is not how it should be done. Not every yaoi has to have one inside of another- if you don't feel safe doing anal then you can always just skip the whole 'thrusting into another person' part and find a different way to do the lemon.

~IceAngel~

*ahem* Nobody except you will probably see this review, because you're screening them. But I'll tell you anyway.
Gay sex does not work that way. Male genitalia does not work that way. The urethra (yes, that hole in a penis and the tube within) cannot, in fact, fit another penis.
I don't care if they're demons. Especially since I think they had humanesque genitals before you got to them. Plus, the 'liking pain' thing would make much more sense if you actually wrote it as being painful. Which, you know, it should be. A lot. But you didn't. You wrote it all pleasure and joy.
Penis does not=vagina. Please to be having a little more anatomy knowledge.
Props for lube, though. I suggest next time you have it directed towards their backsides, which would be less bizarre.
Incidentally, if you are so sensitive to criticism, why are you posting fics online? You're opening them up for anyone to see and comment on. Perhaps you should write for your own benefit for a while, maybe read some realistic things, then get some more experience up. That way, you might also have more confidence.
Am I mean? You decide. From my perspective, however, I'm giving you advice that I hope will help.

D: D: D: D: D: SEX DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY, HOLY SHIT

Yeah, um, have you ever read any Yaoi or seen any movies or series on it? If you haven't, I suggest you do. After all, you can only get better if you take in what we say and try to spite us by doing better.

~*Peace*~

^^ Auska.

ummm... wow... you do know that for men to have sex is penis in the ass right? not penis in the penis?

I don't know how you expect anyone to take this seriously when you don't even write a remotely logical sex scene. If they are different then normal people then you need to take pains to explain how and not just expect your reader to go with it. It's lazy and it doesn't work.

i loved the story unlike some people just remember that the penis goes into the ass not the others penis over all it was a good story it distacted me enough that i didn't even realise that you had both men screwing their penis's together.