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June 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I hope everything is better. What you went through is rough. You have my sympathies.I am glad you are back. I have missed your stories.
I love Chris and Tetsu and I hope to see Leon and D soon. =^-^=
I love Chris and Tetsu and I hope to see Leon and D soon. =^-^=
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March 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Love this fic! Those two are just so cute together!
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November 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Awws! That's so cute! And I don't remember that bit... and I reread the first 5 books today. Hmm, I should look over that one again.
And, your writing is much, much better. It still needs some work; in some places you left out words or put them in the wrong order, but it is a *lot* better! I can actually understand what's going, now!
And, oooh, I wonder what'd wrong with Leon, that he hasn't called!
And, your writing is much, much better. It still needs some work; in some places you left out words or put them in the wrong order, but it is a *lot* better! I can actually understand what's going, now!
And, oooh, I wonder what'd wrong with Leon, that he hasn't called!
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November 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Ooookay. Nice concept. I love the pairing, but really, it reads more like a long description than a narrative.
"Christopher managed it also to embarrass the officer even"
Which was what? It's like we have to assume what they're saying half the time. Let them speak! Don't just say that they said something. Like...
"I really, really like... pie." Chris admitted with a... etc
Because as it is now, I feel like you're sitting in front to me giving me a very long detailed story idea. It's more interesting if you have actualy dialouge.
"Christopher managed it also to embarrass the officer even"
Which was what? It's like we have to assume what they're saying half the time. Let them speak! Don't just say that they said something. Like...
"I really, really like... pie." Chris admitted with a... etc
Because as it is now, I feel like you're sitting in front to me giving me a very long detailed story idea. It's more interesting if you have actualy dialouge.
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November 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Awwwww That's so kawaii yo TT___TT Not cool. And the plot is so original you are awesome.