rate_review Reviews

VERY Good just the kind of story I was looking for and that was a Good Yuki and Shuichi fuck! :) nothing more nothing less Thank you for writing this story it was good and to the point :D

Eiri said Eiri did this, so Eiri looked towards Eiri and Eiri was confused but Yuki smiled and eventually Eiri got the gist of what Eiri talked about.

this is how the first paragraph looks.

rather than a spell check(which isn't hard to get, IMO), invest in a thesaurus, as well as looking into some pronouns, synonyms, and learn to use inventive prose at times.

otherwise, it was an admirable attempt at Gravitation.

*warning* This is just a suggestion and not a flame.
The reviewer above was generous. Your grammar was nonexistent. Just check your basic grammar like capitalization at the beginning of sentences or apostrophes when writing 'your' when it applies. Also, your spell checking needs to be done! Little things like spelling 'something' as 'sometihng' and 'you' and 'youi' is just not trying. It's hard to even tell if your fic is well written because of these tiny mistakes. It all adds up and detracts from the quality of your work. Why don't you fix the errors and repost? I can almost guarantee you'll get more reviews.

this was a really sweet story.

Well, the story itself was pretty ok, but you're grammar is less than exceptable. Also, you used the word "smirked" to often in this fic. Lastly, I wish you would have identified who was doing what, instead of just writing "HE"