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schedule
July 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like where this is going and how you work in a nice story line. 2 complaints though: First, some spelling and grammar errors. Minor stuff really, but for a person like me, they completely interrupt the flow of the story. Second, maybe it's just your style, but I think the story could do with some more imagery. You know, define the environment a little, throw in some colors other than hair, eyes, and skin.
Other than my two minor somewhat nit-picky complaints, I think this is an awesome piece of work. I'll cross my fingers and hope you get more spare time to update soon!
Other than my two minor somewhat nit-picky complaints, I think this is an awesome piece of work. I'll cross my fingers and hope you get more spare time to update soon!
schedule
September 15, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Very intriguing. I can't wait till you come out with another chapter. Will this be Bloodlst type fic where the girl's in love with a vampire? Meh. Regardless, you have an excellent style, and I'm enjoying it.
Just a pointer, however. I'm a real stickler for formatting, and it seems that for some reason, the human mind thinks in spaces between paragraphs. So if you space out your thoughts and paragraphs (use the text input option instead of the file upload to do so, copy and paste your work in, and viola!)it makes it incredibly easier on the reader, and you can also put more emphasis on certain parts of the story.
I look foward to more. ^^
Ja ne!
Just a pointer, however. I'm a real stickler for formatting, and it seems that for some reason, the human mind thinks in spaces between paragraphs. So if you space out your thoughts and paragraphs (use the text input option instead of the file upload to do so, copy and paste your work in, and viola!)it makes it incredibly easier on the reader, and you can also put more emphasis on certain parts of the story.
I look foward to more. ^^
Ja ne!