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February 4, 2008 at 12:00 AM
One of my favorites here in the LH section. I enjoyed the dream sequence in chapter 2 very much, although the short fantasy scenes in the first chapter were great as well. It would be awesome if these two chapters were to become the jump-pad from which to create a more realized sexual relationship between Keitaro and Shinobu. I definitely enjoy seeing her in stories.
I did wish that the sex scene in chapter two were a little more densely written. A lot happened, but you swept over them a bit quickly, and I would've liked some more descriptions to help put the reader in the scene.
I did wish that the sex scene in chapter two were a little more densely written. A lot happened, but you swept over them a bit quickly, and I would've liked some more descriptions to help put the reader in the scene.
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February 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
not bad. not bad at all.
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January 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
hm I like where this is going ^^ You are much better than you think . I strongly believe that you have quite a future here in AFF and I'll anxiously wait for your next chapter . Keep this up , you just got a new fan ;)
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December 18, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Nice story, very well done and hot.. mmmm. I look forward to further chapters! ^_^
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November 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Oh wow that was hot I have always loved Shinobu but I love motoko even more but this story is great hope for an update really soon
With love;Imasuky Lomae
With love;Imasuky Lomae
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November 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Thanks for this! There are too few Keitaro/Shinobu in here.
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November 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
CONTINUE THIS FANFIC!!!!!! I beg you! have it end up with Shinobu and keitaro actually doing it!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!
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November 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
love it, hope you update soon
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November 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great fic. It's always good to see a new author.
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November 18, 2006 at 12:00 AM
excellent. update soon!