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April 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I LOVE this fic! It truly makes my life worth living! I love just about everything about it! I'm on the last chapter now, and I'm holding off on reading it because I don't want it to be over! I love how the story is so complex. Personally, I think its amazing. Sometimes I get a little bit confused by your English though (that's not your fault, you're just from a different part of the world than I am), but eventually I figure it out! Thanks SO much for this fic! Keep updating and keep writing!
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February 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
wow, this updated sweet, me liked the chappie, but at one point I wanted to kill Gojyo for wanting to leave Sanzo all alone, by killing himself.*glares at Gojyo* But hey, now he's found happiness and one can hope that Sanzo found the same.
But, I have a question are you going to continue Queen of Whores, now that Sanzo is out of there and with Gojyo I really want to know what happens!!
But, I have a question are you going to continue Queen of Whores, now that Sanzo is out of there and with Gojyo I really want to know what happens!!
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May 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Phew! Just read it all from beginning to end and I really do love this fic!
Some of the earlier chapters could do with a bit of work...again probably more of a product of mistranslation than anything else. I think your ideas are sound.
There's a little too much vomiting for my taste, but I am somewhat emetophobic, so that is one of my personal squicks.
Some of the earlier chapters could do with a bit of work...again probably more of a product of mistranslation than anything else. I think your ideas are sound.
There's a little too much vomiting for my taste, but I am somewhat emetophobic, so that is one of my personal squicks.
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November 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Somehow this story has me facinated in a strange kind of way. I confess to being a reader of heavy-duty angst and darkfic, so I suppose for me it holds an appeal in that respect. It's surely a dark, twisted and emotionally complex portayal of a Sanzo/Gojyo "romance".
The way that you express the thought processes of the characters is engaging, as are your descriptions and word usage.
There does seem to be some disorganization in the set-up of the story. For example, it isn't immediately clear that chapter two follows along the same storyline as the first chapter. In the same respect, the scenario of the two being "captured" seemed a little incongruous, under-explaind and did somewhat stretch the boundaries of reader belief.
As well, the unexplained absence of Goku earns a question mark. Of course it's totally up to each individual author which characters they will choose to work into their fics, but in this case I'm left wondering if he even exists at all.
This is a story that explores a dark and dirty take on a relationship, and is one in which we feel we should be disgusted or upset by the behavious and motivations of the characters, but find it difficult because they remain so ever AWARE of their own faults. The characters are disgusted with themselves (and sometimes with each other!), so that we don't need to be. ^_^ We as readers just need to sit back and steep ourselves in the angst.
Yes, there are places where grammar and structure could use a little bit of work, but as a non-english speaker who - I believe you also said - is new to writing, you've done very well. I for one certainly did not find the story "unreadable". In fact, the mood that you have set up is one that remains with me after reading, haunting me with the at times disturbing look into the view that you have painted. This is a view of two people struggling to learn how to love themselves as much as it is about them learning to find acceptance in the love of each other.
If you would like the assistance of a native english-speaking beta-reader, I would be happy to volunteer. Just drop me an e-mail. ^_^
In the meantime, keep on writing and don't be discouraged by any negative comments! Thank you for sharing your imagination with us.
The way that you express the thought processes of the characters is engaging, as are your descriptions and word usage.
There does seem to be some disorganization in the set-up of the story. For example, it isn't immediately clear that chapter two follows along the same storyline as the first chapter. In the same respect, the scenario of the two being "captured" seemed a little incongruous, under-explaind and did somewhat stretch the boundaries of reader belief.
As well, the unexplained absence of Goku earns a question mark. Of course it's totally up to each individual author which characters they will choose to work into their fics, but in this case I'm left wondering if he even exists at all.
This is a story that explores a dark and dirty take on a relationship, and is one in which we feel we should be disgusted or upset by the behavious and motivations of the characters, but find it difficult because they remain so ever AWARE of their own faults. The characters are disgusted with themselves (and sometimes with each other!), so that we don't need to be. ^_^ We as readers just need to sit back and steep ourselves in the angst.
Yes, there are places where grammar and structure could use a little bit of work, but as a non-english speaker who - I believe you also said - is new to writing, you've done very well. I for one certainly did not find the story "unreadable". In fact, the mood that you have set up is one that remains with me after reading, haunting me with the at times disturbing look into the view that you have painted. This is a view of two people struggling to learn how to love themselves as much as it is about them learning to find acceptance in the love of each other.
If you would like the assistance of a native english-speaking beta-reader, I would be happy to volunteer. Just drop me an e-mail. ^_^
In the meantime, keep on writing and don't be discouraged by any negative comments! Thank you for sharing your imagination with us.
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November 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Ah, I apologise. The previous long, rambling "anonymous" review was mine.^^
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November 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
*sighs*
I want to read this..but the paragraphs are painful.
Maybe get a beta?
I want to read this..but the paragraphs are painful.
Maybe get a beta?
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November 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Just read your story and you did a really good job on it. Yes there were a few times when i had to think a bit harder on what you were really saying but nothing that got lost in translation or that slowed me down or prevented me from loving the story. I am a real Gojyo/Sanzo fan and from what i see I think with more writing you could be really great. It was your first fic, right? So dont get discouraged at all.
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November 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Don’t let the reviewer above slow you down. I’m not an English native speaker either, but that has not prevented me from trying to write using a different language. Good luck and don’t give up!
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November 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Grate story I really like Gojyo and Sanzo together I hope that this is not a one time thing because I would love to read more chapters so update soon.
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November 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Well..It's not that good.
Maybe stick to writting fics in whatever your native language is? Things just get lost in translation and it makes it painful to read.
Maybe stick to writting fics in whatever your native language is? Things just get lost in translation and it makes it painful to read.