rate_review Reviews

I'd love to see where you take this.

i liked it, it was a little hard to follow, write another chapter...

Kimi

P.S. if you need a beta, feel free to email me.

Sorry dear, but... no. Just... no. Building on what has already been said, your structure is all wrong, there is no real "plot" to speak of and the characters all OOC. I would suggest looking at your story again and really thinking about what you want to happen, how it would happen with each character. It may be trite, but what is their motivation? You may want to study the books or anime a bit longer, really get to the essence of the characters. It may seem like a lot to do for a fanfic, but good writing must start somewhere (It’s how I got published, after all)

Best of luck!
-Talia

The plot itself is good, but you keep having spelling mistakes, which makes the reading really hard, so I would suggest to find someone to beta read it. The fic feels somewhat like it's a little bit rushed, for everything in the story happens too fast and that's why there are plot holes around... Otherwise I like the idea itself around this fic.... And, no. This is not a flame just a critic. I would like to see you continue this fic, so please update soon..

Well it could be good....but you have a LOT of spelling errors...so you might want to work on that. It looks like you went through and wrote it rather quickly. Even the title has a typo...=\

i like so far keep goin cuz i gotta know