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May 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
You repeated this line twice: Tearing my gaze away, I look up just in time to see Niwa and that girl enter, her hand entwined with his in a way I can only dream of doing. I briefly wonder where that thought came from, then bite my lip as his eyes meet my own, and his smile widens as he lets go of her to come running over to me, the girl not seeming to mind as she goes to a different corner of the room to talk to some other girls. Tearing my gaze away,
Just wanted to let you know ^_^ but I like it.
Just wanted to let you know ^_^ but I like it.
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May 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Great story so far i look forward to the update.
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August 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
hey, i really like this, keep it up!
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June 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
good start so far.
i look forward to see where u're going with this.
i'm just waiting to see their feelings blossom for each other, and hopefully they'll get together soon~
i look forward to see where u're going with this.
i'm just waiting to see their feelings blossom for each other, and hopefully they'll get together soon~
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April 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hello! Just wanted to pop in and thank you for writing this, I really really like it ^_^ and I hope you continue it
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March 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
i was waiting for this chapter can't wait for the next chapter i love this story can't wait for u to finish it keep it up dude ^^
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March 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
OK I'm seeing where the hinting is pointing to.
Took a little while to get the update up did it? Heh I'm not in a position to complain... I take a long time to update too most of the time... Love your story still. We are now officially in the build up phase of the story. And can never have too much detail! You've got a good amount of detail going on, very good. Do hope to see more of this story!
Laters!
Took a little while to get the update up did it? Heh I'm not in a position to complain... I take a long time to update too most of the time... Love your story still. We are now officially in the build up phase of the story. And can never have too much detail! You've got a good amount of detail going on, very good. Do hope to see more of this story!
Laters!
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January 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
so very long since youve updated! please write more of this story?
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December 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You certainly have quite the love for DNAngel, I think I'm even picking up a cut and paste warning label (~_^)b
Great writing, very smooth rhythm, good buildup, but... I personally think you cut the first chapter off a little too early. I know a cliffhanger was the intention, but reading this chapter by itself just left me with a feeling like we haven't gone anywhere, like we loaded up the car and are still sitting in the drive way, we need to move! The story definitely needs to have the girth of it all opened up in the next chapter, and by that I don't mean giving the whole plot away, but we need to move into what the story is actually going to be about. Plot setting is very important in the opening chapters.
So great writing! Hope to see the next chapter soon!
-Revu
Great writing, very smooth rhythm, good buildup, but... I personally think you cut the first chapter off a little too early. I know a cliffhanger was the intention, but reading this chapter by itself just left me with a feeling like we haven't gone anywhere, like we loaded up the car and are still sitting in the drive way, we need to move! The story definitely needs to have the girth of it all opened up in the next chapter, and by that I don't mean giving the whole plot away, but we need to move into what the story is actually going to be about. Plot setting is very important in the opening chapters.
So great writing! Hope to see the next chapter soon!
-Revu
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December 24, 2006 at 12:00 AM
good so far
plz continue
have fun writing
plz continue
have fun writing