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for Wanting More

by twistedsheets

person Coiria
schedule January 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
;) wanting more

Engaging plot! I like Fei and Akihito together just fine, especially when the scene is so emotional and in character. If you decide to edit this chapter, you might want to look for repetitive phrases, for example in "heartbeat of his heart," you only need one heart. Two makes it a bit awkward, since people do not normally speak that way.
person Anon
schedule December 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
AHHHH!!!!! This is the first I've ever read anything fic like about Finder no Hyouteki!!! I'm so glad that Fei Long "bullied" you into letting him take Aki-chan. It was so good and I'm anxious for the next part!!
schedule December 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Sorry...forgot to sign my name...that other review with all the screaming was mine :3
person Denisse
schedule December 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I can't wait for the nex chapter ^^. I hope you win the contest. Fei Long x Akihito rules!!!!!!!!!!

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