schedule
June 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yes, hyphens (I think that’s how (‘) are called lolol) are the archenemies of people that aren’t English, in lot’s of languages they don’t exist so it’s an error that normally goes unnoticed (I know I do exactly the same).
Some dialogues on my sister’s story are indeed a little confusing, so just remember it’s always:
“first person speaking”
“second person speaking”
“fist person speaking”
“second person speaking”.
Every time someone interrupts she mentions who it is =P
Lol to compensate not reviewing your last chapter I’m answering some reviews for you lolol *forgive mee*
Ok I loved chapter 11 (even thought it’s kinda of a filler) if you had jumped straight into the league it would be weird. I like all the pokemons so far, Ciáran is my fav =P
And finally chapter 12, FINALLY TEAM GENESIS ARRIVES! It took you a long time damn it, Bianca is my favourite from them, I’m glad you gave her the spotlight in this part.
Go back to study, but I hope you’ll post part 2 soon =D
Some dialogues on my sister’s story are indeed a little confusing, so just remember it’s always:
“first person speaking”
“second person speaking”
“fist person speaking”
“second person speaking”.
Every time someone interrupts she mentions who it is =P
Lol to compensate not reviewing your last chapter I’m answering some reviews for you lolol *forgive mee*
Ok I loved chapter 11 (even thought it’s kinda of a filler) if you had jumped straight into the league it would be weird. I like all the pokemons so far, Ciáran is my fav =P
And finally chapter 12, FINALLY TEAM GENESIS ARRIVES! It took you a long time damn it, Bianca is my favourite from them, I’m glad you gave her the spotlight in this part.
Go back to study, but I hope you’ll post part 2 soon =D
schedule
June 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
An update! I'm really excited about the new part of this chapter. It seems the bad guys are moving. Poor Sam too. I really hope you update soon.
schedule
June 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Nice story line. I've just now noticed your story, and it is quite interesting. However, I have noticed a few grammatical errors.
"...steeling pokemons from the science lab." "steel" should be "steal". the steel you have here is the metal.
"...confy bed..." I believe you meant to put "comfy", if I am not mistaken.
"and slightly bitted her erected nipples." "Bitted" should have been "bit".
There were also several words that should have had a ' after them(i cant remember what it's called.)
A few exampes are: masters, lovers, companions, and there are also a few others.
If these errors were fixed, it would make the story look that much better. I'm gonna keep my eye on this story! Best of luck with future updates!
-+-Black Whole-+-
"...steeling pokemons from the science lab." "steel" should be "steal". the steel you have here is the metal.
"...confy bed..." I believe you meant to put "comfy", if I am not mistaken.
"and slightly bitted her erected nipples." "Bitted" should have been "bit".
There were also several words that should have had a ' after them(i cant remember what it's called.)
A few exampes are: masters, lovers, companions, and there are also a few others.
If these errors were fixed, it would make the story look that much better. I'm gonna keep my eye on this story! Best of luck with future updates!
-+-Black Whole-+-
schedule
June 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey, sorry for not being logged in, but I'm too lazy to go to the login page(lol). Anyway, I really liked chapter 2. Again, a handful of errors, but they were not as common as in the first chapter. I liked the addition of the Ralts, and the dream section afterwards was definantly unique. I really like this story!
-+-Black Whole-+-
Also, I'm gonna try to space out my reviews. I don't think you need a review for all of your chapters!
-+-Black Whole-+-
Also, I'm gonna try to space out my reviews. I don't think you need a review for all of your chapters!
schedule
June 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yes, I'm still too lazy to login, moving on.
I am quite intruiged by this story. I have only read the first 4 chapters and already I can't leave the computer screen! lol but seriously, this is one amazing fic. Very few errors, but nothing that interfered with understanding the characters. Well no, that's a lie. The section where Vi and the Ralts are talking via telepathy is confusing at points, and I wasn't sure on who was talking until I got to the next line. If you could break that up, that would be a relief. Well, I'm outta here!
-+-Black Whole-+-
I am quite intruiged by this story. I have only read the first 4 chapters and already I can't leave the computer screen! lol but seriously, this is one amazing fic. Very few errors, but nothing that interfered with understanding the characters. Well no, that's a lie. The section where Vi and the Ralts are talking via telepathy is confusing at points, and I wasn't sure on who was talking until I got to the next line. If you could break that up, that would be a relief. Well, I'm outta here!
-+-Black Whole-+-
schedule
June 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
please update soon!
schedule
May 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I can't wait to see that next chapter. Don't keep us waiting too long! ^^
schedule
May 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 11 is disturbing yet interesting at the same time. It's kind of random but really well written. I can't wait for the next chapter.
schedule
May 21, 2007 at 12:00 AM
LOVE THIS STORY PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
schedule
May 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
WEll, that was certainly something else. That evee is really really fucked up, but in a good way, I think. Anyways, nothing new to say, so untill next time, semper phi, carry on...