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for Taking Control

by jarlaxlechan

person Persephone
schedule November 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Perfect! 10 out of 10! I liked that we got both sides of Yuuri in this fic ;D It was unexpected when innocent little Yuuri transformed into super hot dominating mao! Who's the slut now bitch! Hahaha XD As far as style, I love your word choice:
"Just then another fleeting wisp of memory teased Yuuri’s memories before flittering away again into the recesses of his mind." I just really liked that sentence! You did an awesome job of setting the scene and building the suspense to the moment when Wolfram finally revealed himself.
"weeping tip spilling pearls of white down his blushing shaft" That's beautiful, not dirty like it would be if you'd chosen different words
"Wolfram’s moist heat was pure bliss on his screaming senses, somehow managing to inflame and state his raging arousal in one blurring, jumbled moment." You are a Wordsmithing GODDESS!
It's stuff like this that made it easy to imagine myself in the position of Gunter ;P *waits for accompanying fic* Anyway, this is a gem of a fic that I won't soon forget!
person Ryo
schedule April 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Holy crap. That was rather hot. -fans self- Please tell me you plan on writing more. -latches to leg, begs- Please more.
person sakuragurl
schedule March 21, 2007 at 12:00 AM
wow i thought this story was awesome. I was on edge the whole time and it's so satisfying. man that was great!
person Hello
schedule March 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow, I like. So hot, Yuuri and Wolfram.

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